General Comments

□ 代名詞（ここでは特に it）、および関係代名詞の使い方に注意。指示対象（先行詞）をわかりやすくして使う必要がある。一般に、関係詞を使わず短い文章に分ければ書きやすく読みやすい。

□ 原文の意味が不審であれば、必要に応じて「翻訳者ノート」や脚注を用いてクライアントに確認する。

□ 時制

映画のＰＲ文なので、時制は基本的に現在形でよい。また、物語の部分も現在形が書きやすい。

A brilliant new legend has appeared on the horizons of the movie world. Greeting the 21st century is the tour de force film The Lord of the Rings. With its unparalleled scale, locations, images, and drama, this film swept up the audience beyond their wildest expectations in a whirlwind of wonder, excitement, and emotion.

The movie The Lord of the Rings is a movie adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkien's famous trilogy of the same name, a masterpiece that is considered by many to be the greatest work of literature of the 20th century. From the moment the news broke out that the trilogy would be made into a film, people all over the world eagerly awaited the release date. The frenzy and excitement surrounding the anticipated release of the film was unprecedented. The official website for the movie, which was set up in 1999, received over 1.7 million hits during the first 24 hours it was in operation, surpassing the record that had previously been held by the website for the film Star Wars - Episode I. From the day shooting began on the film, information and rumors were posted non-stop on the Internet, and the media worldwide kept its eye peeled for any news about the film.

1. It isn't necessary to specify the century by using "this." There isn't another 21st century.
2. I think you should either choose to remove the definite article "the" or just say "…in film history."
3. You may want to look up in a style book the rules for using italics when mentioning book titles and movie titles.
4. Be aware that "literature" should not be confused with "books" or "novels." Literature is a category of media, such as art or painting. It is not used to talk about a single work.
5. This segment is a bit confusing. Because you have already mentioned earlier in the sentence that the film would be released, it confuses things to mention that "it" is going to be made into a film. The times become confused.
6. You should probably clarify what kind of site you are talking about, because the word "site" is often used to describe a location.
7. See previous note about italics for movies.
8. You probably don't need the definite article here.

1. Generally, we use this word in the plural form – "expectations"
2. Setting these descriptions in the form of commas (with a dash) connects them to the beginning of the sentence, making this segment a bit hard to follow. Are you saying that the scale, location... etc., as well as the movie, all lead us to a storm of surprise?
3. By saying "It is The Lord of the Rings, you are saying this title is the answer to some question, but you haven't stated what that question is.
4. This is a difficult part of the text, especially since the name of the movie and the title of the book are exactly the same. It may be better to just say that it is a movie adaptation of the novel of the same name.
5. Be careful not to confuse the word "literature" with "book" or "novel."
6. If you say something is originally written by someone, you are implying that someone else wrote the same book later on.
7. Wrong form of the word – this should probably be "explosive" not "exploded."
8. Actually, since you have already said that the fever for the film was "explosive," it becomes a bit redundant to say that it was on an "unprecedented scale."
9. It would probably be a good idea to specify what kind of site you are talking about. You should probably say "website."
10. Two things here; the number should be checked carefully (this is 1,700,000) and the word "accesses" may be a bit hard to understand. I think "hits" or "visits" may be better.
11. The verb tense needs to be reexamined here.

1. This implies that there have been other legendary films in the 21st century. Do you mean to say this?
2. Basically, “spectators" are people who watch an event live; "audience" would be a better choice here.
3. Check on the capitalization of words in the title as well as the rules for using italics when writing about movie or book titles.
4. Is there a particular reason why "full adaptation" is used here? In contrast, is there such thing as a "partial" adaptation or a "semi" adaptation?
5. Be careful of confusing the word "literature" with "novel" or "work." Literature is a category not an individual work. It is used the same way as the terms "art" or "history."
6. This segment needs to be rewritten a little. It isn't clear how this segment connects the beginning of the sentence and the end of the sentence. I think there is a verb missing in here – "...when the press release was announced that the novel would be turned into a film swept the world..."
7. Do you want to imply that the fever was historic? What was actually historic?
8. I believe only people can have “nationalities” so this word cannot be used in conjunction with "the press."
9. “Attention” is like the word "information" – it is only in the singular form, so you cannot have "attentions."

1. Is the use of "built" intentional? Do you wish to portray the image of "constructing" a landmark? In fields that are rather 'soft' such as movies, a word such as "established" or "created" may work better.
2. You may want to add a comma here, otherwise the construction of this segment makes it a little difficult to see what connection there is between the "audience's expectations" and "to give them..."
3. Check a style book regarding rules about using italics for movie and book titles.
4. I would suggest that word "trilogy" be moved to the end of the book titles. You want to make sure the reader knows that the LOTR is a trilogy.
5. This doesn't quite express the feeling that LOTR is one of the greatest achievements of 20th century literature. It merely says that LOTR was a book written in the 20th century. It would be much more clear if you could add a descriptive adjective somewhere – such as “...hailed as the greatest book of the 20th century"
6. This doesn't make clear who the readers are. Do you mean all readers of all books, or just the readers of the LOTR trilogy?
7. Since you want to express anticipation of the fans, just saying "all over the world eagerly waited..." should be sufficient.
8. The LOTR website didn't really renew the Star Wars record. By saying this, you are implying that Star Wars still has the record and LOTR helped maintain it. You might want to say "rewrote the record previously held by Star Wars."
9. If you are going to use the present tense here, it will affect the tense of the other verbs later in this sentence. This segment concerns me a bit for two reasons: first of all, I'm not so sure the Japanese text states that a large number of websites was set up. It only mentions that the official website got a great many hits. The second point of concern is the tense of the verb "are," as this will impact the other verbs used in the sentence.
10. Consistency in the tense would help the reader here. Earlier in the sentence, you use the present tense "There are many websites.." I think "exchange" would be more consistent than "exchanged" in this case.
11. You probably don't really need to use "their" here, as it is already clear by the previous phrase "its avid fans" who you are talking about, and we know whose opinions are being expressed.
12. As mentioned in an earlier note, the verb tense at the beginning of the sentence impacts these verbs. Here, if you wish to express that the media is still actively doing reports, you may need to use the present perfect tense. If you are speaking of events already completed, this verb and the ones previous to it need to changed.
13. It's hard to tell if this is supposed to be "movie-making progress" or "movie making progress." You may even want to consider "...the progress of the production of the movie."

□ tour de force
力作、大傑作、名演、偉業、手腕、巧みな解決手段など、用途が広い。
Ex., a writing-directing tour de force = 一人で脚本と監督を担当した超大作

□ オフィシャル・サイト
official website とすべきです。

□ アクセス
動詞でなければ、一般には access よりも hit や visit が使われる。

□ 完全映画化
Q: What is 完全? If "complete," then is it the story or size?
A: An unabridged version.
For this purpose, you should avoid any adjective prefixed with "un-", because it carries a negative connotation.

□「指輪物語」
ルールに従えば本のタイトルはイタリック体とし、引用符は用いない。
Keep the spelling as original.
Single quotes have a very narrow usage.

・ 熱い注目を浴びせて
メディアが決定的瞬間を逃さないよう「目を見開いている」ということで、Gregさんは eyes wide open の方向に訳されている。Keep your eyes peeled という慣用句があるが、peel は「目を剥いている」という感じか、日本人なら「目を凝らしている」。怒ったり驚いたりすると目を剥く。

The setting for this epic tale is the Middle Earth of the distant past. A fellowship of nine members is formed to keep the evil ring of power, which has come into the possession of the young hobbit Frodo Baggins, from falling into the clutches of Sauron, the malevolent Lord of Darkness. The quest to destroy the evil ring is a tale of spectacular battles, endless perils, and soaring heroism. The story keeps readers holding their breath from the opening chapter until the profoundly moving conclusion.

1. Since Middle Earth is an imaginary place, it may be better to rewrite this to say "...set in Middle Earth a long time ago"
2. Does the text say there were nine Hobbits or does it say that there were nine members?
3. This needs a comma.
4. This almost sounds like the ring is running away

1. If you wish to repeat the word "long" you need to add a comma in between the two "longs." Otherwise, I think one "long" is sufficient.
2. This sentence is saying that the audience didn't experience an emotional climax. Is this what you want to say?

1. The definite article isn't necessary here.
2. I would suggest using the active verb "unfolds" here instead of the passive form “is unfolded.”
3. This implies that "Hobbit" is the name of a place. In fact, "Hobbit" is the name of a type of people, like dwarves, elves, and men.
4. The form of the verb feels odd; you may want to change this to "shake off the pursuers..."
5. Introducing the name "Pluto" here may be a bit confusing, as Sauron is the Dark Lord, not Pluto.
6. The flow of this sentence almost makes it sound as though Sauron is the one who finally destroys the ring.
7. I think the form of the word should be "impressive" not "impressing."

1. This implies that the realm of Middle Earth actually existed and the story is about what happened a long time ago in that real world.
2. This is all correct information, but the key here would be how much information should be included in a translation. The Japanese text makes no mention of these facts, so should the translator include them because he has such knowledge?
   I thought “Hobbit” needed some explanation because it is Tolkien's imaginary creation. But now that I can find this word in my dictionary, I realize it has already been common.
3. In terms of construction, this term doesn’t fit too well. Since you have named the ring (One Ring) it cannot be labeled as just a mysterious, evil ring. The indefinite article could be used if you just mentioned “a mysterious, evil ring.
4. This construction doesn’t make clear if the Fellowship is trying to recapture the Ring or Sauron and his henchmen are trying to do so.
5. There is actually a fixed expression using these terms; "epic proportions." We don’t often see the word "immense" and "proportion" used together like this.

The universe of Tolkien's epic novel is firmly rooted in the relationships and concerns so familiar to the world as we know it. But in the blink of an eye, Tolkien transports us to another completely different world. It is this familiar yet different world that has captivated so many readers around the world. When The Lord of the Rings was published, it caused an immediate sensation, giving rise to a readership who were closer to being fanatics rather than just fans. The Lord of the Rings became a modern classic and a must-read book for a new generation of readers who came to believe there was no limit to the imagination. The themes promoted by Tolkien throughout his trilogy, the awareness of the environment and the struggle against war and against ones inner self, were concepts that were far ahead of the times. The Lord of the Rings became a symbol of the anti-establishment philosophy of the younger generation. But the impact Tolkien had went even further than concepts and symbols. His monumental saga was the seed that blossomed into a myriad of new products and markets, including books, videos, role-playing games, computer games, and comic books.

1. Since the previous sentence speaks in the present tense, you may want to continue this feeling here by using the present perfect tense. The past tense gives a slightly different feeling (like everything has already ended).
2. You really don’t need the definite article here.
3. Do you mean to say that a large number of the people followed along with the book? Where did the book go?
4. Do you mean to emphasize that many followers did NOT become enthusiastic admirers?
5. I think if you say a book is a masterpiece, it is already a classic, so it is unnecessary to combine these terms.
6. This phrase is incomplete. It should probably be "a must-read book."
7. Using "who" here implies that there are also young people who were not awakened to the...”
8. I don't think "foresighted" is the word you want to use here. The feeling you want to convey is that the ideas introduced by Tolkien were ahead of its times.
9. This word is not really necessary. Just "environment" is sufficient.
10. Do you mean to say that the members of the fellowship were trying to cure themselves of a compulsion to commit corruption or war?
11. There is a redundancy here. You don't need the word "after" here
12. To simply the style, since you have already mentioned that the book was written by Tolkien, it isn't necessary to keep repeating this fact.
13. This preposition isn’t necessary.
14. Check spelling

1. This segment is a bit confusing. What do you mean by saying this? What will we never know? And if we never know something, how can we know if we the moment has come upon us?
2. Check the verb tense here.
3. Because these words are so similar, it might be better if you could find words that are slightly different (for example, movie fanatics).
4. Do you want to say that there were more fanatical fans than supporters? This is how this sentence sounds.
5. This should probably be "a masterpiece." This is the most common expression.
6. Probably "a must-read book"
7. "Enlightenment" is something you achieve. It doesn't really give you unlimited creativity, as your sentence implies. You may want to change this word.
8. You can probably leave this word out and just say "environment."
9. This should probably be "…among the younger generations" or "…among the young generation."
10. The word order needs to be changed. At present, this implies that the epic is about Tolkien.
11. It doesn't seem clear as to what “that” is referring to.
12. You could probably simplify this segment by saying "…created based on Tolkien's world.”

1. This is a very nice sentence. I like the choice of words and the rhythm of the sentence is good.
2. It is probably a good idea to be consistent in the use of "mythic" and "mythical." Using both forms could be confusing to the reader.
3. To be kind to the reader, it may be a good idea to be more specific when mentioning such concepts as "fundamental aspects of human nature." What are these aspects? This is something the reader may want to know. If the job of the translator is to provide information or understanding, you don't want to create more questions.
4. I think “could” works better here than "can."
5. What is the idea you wish to convey with this word? I can't quite get a feel for the logic behind it.
6. Is there a particular reason why the verb tenses jump between the sentence previous to this one, and then to a different tense in this one, and then again to yet another one in the sentence that follows this?
7. I think "…the status of a classic" works better here
8. A phrase more commonly used is "a must-read book."
9. The construction of this segment implies that the book is for readers who already have their spirits lifted to the world of unlimited imagination
10. I don't know if "foresight" is the word that fits best here. I don't think the sentence is talking so much about "foresight" as it is about the fact that the theme of the story is ahead of its time with regard to its stance on the environment.
11. While I agree that Tolkien's book gave birth to many new markets, I don't think he or the book “developed” these markets; some other person or company did the developing.

□ 先見性
foresight (to predict the future) という予知予見能力もさることながら、Tolkien's thinking is ahead of time (progressive) という程度に理解する。

□ 漫画
comic (comics)、comic strip、cartoon、caricature、animation
４コマ漫画 ： four-frame cartoon
１コマ漫画 ： panel cartoon

○ 堕落や戦争など抗いがたい力に対する戦い
Gregさんの "the struggle against war and against ones inner self" では、「堕落」に ones inner self が対応し、「抗いがたい」が訳出されていない。もしかしたら「抗いがたいものとの戦い」という表現は英語ネイティブにわかりにくいのかもしれない。
ここの堕落という概念はつかみにくいが、moral decadence（モラルの失墜）ということか。デカダンスなどといっているうちは文学かもしれないが、その挙句に腐ってしまえば corruption。このとき何が堕落するかといえば、やはり内なる自我であろうし、その誘惑に対して人は戦い続けていなければならない。そこで、ones inner self。なるほど。

The Lord of the Rings has had a major impact on generation after generation of readers, and is at the top of almost everyone's "Best Book of the 20th Century" list. It is the originality, excitement, and vitality of the Middle Earth created by Tolkien that made it possible for Frodo Baggins, the unforgettable hero of the story, to come into existence. Middle Earth, the world Frodo lives in, is a world filled with sorcery and legend. And it is in this world that our hobbit hero becomes embroiled in a struggle of epic proportions. But throughout this heroic story runs the underlying theme of everlasting friendship, loyalty, and individual courage. These qualities are the driving force that eventually defeats even the mightiest of the dark powers.

1. This doesn't really say much. You need to write this phrase so it emphasizes how great the book really was – for example, "…one of the greatest works of the 20th century."
2. Why do you feel the book was "unconventional"?
3. The construction of this sentence says that Frodo Baggins is full of legendary stories and evil laws. You don't really mean to say this, do you?
   
   テキストで「魔法」が「悪法」と誤って転記されていたため。 以下同じ。
   


4. Are you trying to compare this war to another similar war in the mythical world? What is the similarity of this war to any other war?

1. This doesn't really make clear what it means to be "a book of the 20th century.” I think you need to mention the book as being "…one of the best books of the 20th century" or something similar to this.
2. This needs an indefinite article; "…it produced an unforgettable hero"
3. This sounds like Frodo comes from a place called "hobbit." This should be rewritten to say :...hero, a hobbit named Frodo Baggins.
4. This word is probably not appropriate here. Mythical means something which was not real or only exists as a fairy tale. "Legendary" may work better here.
5. We usually use the word "rich" to describe good things. Evil laws are not a good thing, so you may need to change this.
6. This segment is a very nice expression. I like this part.

1. The phrase here is similar to an earlier one. It would be better to be more specific in describing the book – "the greatest book of the 20th century" or other such phrase.
2. Is the idea you want to express here "new" or "unique" in terms of the outlook on the universe?
   Yes. I meant Tolkien's way of conceiving the universe.
3. See earlier note about consistency of this word.
4. See earlier note about this term.
5. Do you think the book focuses specifically on the bravery and love shared between Frodo and the Fellowship, or is it about bravery of Man in general and love between good friends in general?
   I'm not clear.
6. While this word is correct in meaning, in terms of imagery, it may be a bit weak. We tend to use "exterminate" for pests such as mice or cockroaches. For bigger and more dangerous beasts or demons, you may want to consider a word more appropriate to their level of evil, such as "destroy" or "defeat."
   I just thought of that California Governor as the 'Terminator.'

□ 神話的なスケール
epic proportions
「神話的」といっても mythical は使えない。
Myths didn’t really happen or exist.
Troy is a mythical city, while Athens is historical.
mythical は空想（fantasy）の意味で否定的に用いられることが多い。
これは concept bigger than people can think of であるに過ぎない。なるべく避けましょう。
この場合は比較対象がないから「スケール」をそのまま scale とできない。
カタカナ英語に注意しましょう。たとえば日本語の「フェミニスト」は、英語の feminist と意味が異なる。
Do not depend only on Japanese.

□ 追い詰めていく
corner を使った訳例があるが、意味が弱い。映画はクライマックスに達しており、ワル男たちを退治する段階だから、defeat という意訳が必要。
Do not depend only on Japanese.

This monumental saga was a milestone among adventure stories, and finally, more than 40 years after its publication, it has been made into a major motion picture. It was obvious that making The Lord of the Rings into a full-length feature would be a task of a scale never before accomplished with any measure of success. The Lord of the Rings is an epic filled with legendary figures, landscapes, and creatures. The scale of the universe created by Tolkien is so vast and elaborate, yet so detailed. It had been thought that the level of movie-making expertise needed to make a film that could project the power, vitality, and spirit of Tolkien's universe did not exist. But with the dawning of the new millennium, film director Peter Jackson accomplished the impossible.

1. Was it the film industry or Peter Jackson that decided to adapt this book to make a movie?
2. By saying "after a lapse of 40 years" you are implying that an earlier attempt was made to make a film 40 years ago. Is this what the original text says?
3. Is there a reason for emphasizing "mega-budget movies"? Are you saying that movies that are not mega-budget movies would not have had these problems?
4. This might be going too far to say God appointed Peter Jackson to make the film. I don’t think it is so important to determine who made the selection. The more important idea is that Peter Jackson was probably the only person with the ability to bring this film to life.

1. Why pyramid?
2. "Outlive" means something a little different. It means to live too long – that it should have died sooner, but it didn't.
3. This is a little awkward. You may want to rewrite this to say "…would be one of the most difficult projects ever attempted."
4. This feels a bit rough. It is also best to avoid ending a sentence with a preposition.
5. I think you mean to say "essential" not "inevitable."
6. If you use the possessive form, you don't need to use a definite article.
7. This needs to be “too detailed”
8. If you use "plot" as a verb here, it means to keep track of something. Is this what you want to say?
9. "Elite" is probably not really the most appropriate word here. You don't want to express that feeling that Peter Jackson is elite; you want to say that he is the only one with the ability to succeed at such an undertaking.

1. Most people would take this to mean a cartoon version. You may want to reconsider using the word "animate."
2. Since the time frame here shows that this opinion was being expressed about something that had not yet happened at that time, the tense needs to be adjusted accordingly; "…many thought it would be far more…
3. This word may not be necessary.
4. There seems to be a word missing here or the form of the word is odd; "…but imbued with much elaboration in the details of the mythical…" perhaps?
5. By saying "his version," you are implying there are other versions, some which may be better.
6. This is a nice turn of phrase.

□ 選ばれし監督
a selected director という直訳は不正確であり不自然。Peter Jackson のみがなし得た快挙と考えればよい。