11 14, 2004
第９回：「リーブ・ミー・アローン」
テキストは、プライバシーの権利について論じた朝日新聞の天声人語（平成 14 年 3 月 18 日）。公式英語バージョン（ Asahi.com 3 月 19 日）を訳例２とし、比較してみます。
【課題文】
アメリカ映画などでよく耳にするせりふに「リーブ・ミー・アローン」がある。直訳すれば「ひとりにしておいて」、少し意訳すると「ほっといて」「そっとしておいて」あるいは「じゃましないで」
「ほっといて」の権利には長い歴史がある、と米国の法律家Ｒ・Ｂ・スタンドラー氏が、ある論文で指摘している。すでに１８３４年、連邦最高裁が言及している権利だという。その後、「ほっといて」権は、プライバシーの権利を簡潔に表現する言葉として定着していった。
確かに「ほっといて」と言いたくなるようなことがあふれる現代社会だ。かつては井戸端会議でささやかれていたうわさ話や世間話を、いまは多様なメディアが多数の人に向けて流す。そっとしておいてほしいと思うことでも公になってしまうことがしばしばだ。
田中真紀子前外相の長女が自分の私生活を取材され、報じられることに抵抗するのはもっともなことだろう。記事を掲載した週刊文春の出版禁止を求めるのも当事者としては当然かもしれない。しかし、出版禁止という重大な命令を出すかどうかの裁判所の判断は、容易ではないはずだ。
週刊誌は多くが出回ってしまった。発売前の広告を見ても、記事の概要はわかってしまう。禁止の効果は薄いだけでなく、論議を呼んだことで宣伝の役割を果たしたとさえいえるだろう。出版禁止の重さばかりが浮き上がる。
「ほっといて」という切実な声には謙虚に耳を傾けなければならない。しかし、それがすべて、と甘受もしきれない命令だった。
朝日新聞朝刊 （03月18日付）
[テキスト1]
「ほっといて」の権利には長い歴史がある、と米国の法律家Ｒ・Ｂ・スタンドラー氏が、ある論文で指摘している。すでに１８３４年、連邦最高裁が言及している権利だという。その後、「ほっといて」権は、プライバシーの権利を簡潔に表現する言葉として定着していった。
[訳例1]
The phrase "the right to be let alone" has a long and storied history , as pointed out in a report by American attorney R.B. Standler. As far back as 1834, America's Supreme Court made reference to privacy rights. Since that time, "the right to be let alone" has become entrenched in the culture as a simple, precise way to express one's right to privacy.
[訳例2]
"Leave me alone" is a line that often crops up in American movies. There are Japanese equivalents of that sentiment.
U.S. lawyer Ronald B.Standler said in a thesis that the "right to be left alone" has a long history in the United States. According to him, it was already being mentioned in 1834 by the U.S. Supreme Court. Crisp and pithy, it has since come into common use whenever people's right to their privacy is at issue.
[訳例3]
R.B..Standler, a lawyer in America, points out that the right to be left alone has a long history. He says Supreme Court of the United States has already referred to this right in 1834. This 'leave me alone' right has since been widely known as a (1) synonym for the overall privacy right.
- Not so much a synonym, but an expression that "symbolizes" the right to privacy in a concise fashion.
[訳例4]
Right to Privacy vs. Freedom of Press
(1) "Leave me alone" is just one of those casual English phrases familiar to Japanese, which you'll occasionally come across while watching Hollywood movies, for instance.
In his thesis, American lawyer R. B. Standler noted that the right "to be left alone” had a long history. He wrote the right was already mentioned (2) in the U.S. Supreme Court as far back as 1834. Ever since, this easy and colloquial phrase has been popular as a (3) terse definition of the right to privacy.
- I like this. Short and simple. An effective way to approach a challenging 1st paragraph.
- in → by
- I would use “concise” or even "simple".
crisp, pithy, terse, brief, concise…
Bill O’Reilly puts forth “You've got to keep it pithy” in the O’Reilly Factor (radio show).
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,96207,00.html
□ KISS (http://www.acronymfinder.com/af-query.asp?String=exact&Acronym=kiss)
Keep It Short & Simple
Keep It Simple Silly
Keep It Simple Systems
Keep It Simple, Saint
Keep It Simple, Sir
Keep It Simple, Statistically
Keep It Simple, Sweetheart
Keep It Simple, Sweetie
Keep It Small and Simple
Keep It Stupidly Simple
Keep It Super Simple
Keep It Simple, Stupid
Keep It Simple and Stupid
□ 定着していった
has become entrenched in the culture
has since come into common use
has since been widely known
(ever since) has been popular
□ 「ほっといて」のバリエーション
Leave me alone.
Leave me be. ⇒ やや文語的
I just want some time to myself. ⇒ 夫婦や恋人どうしでもめたときなど
Get out of my face! ⇒ けんか腰
Don't disturb me.
Mind your own business.
It's none of your business.
■ アメリカ映画など
訳例1のみが、この「など」に反応して and television を加えている。しかし、もっぱらアメリカ映画でこのセリフを「よく耳に」して馴染んでいるのは他ならぬこの日本人ライターだから、付近に Japanese が必要ではなかろうか。いずれにせよ、TVの電波はここまで届かないはず。（笑）
■ 直訳すれば、意訳すると
英訳では意味のない部分だが、訳例2の Official English Version (OEV) は、まったく無視することもなく
There are Japanese equivalents of that sentiment.
とかわしている。原文をなぞってはいないが、英語読者のための巧みな配慮ではある。実務に携わる者にとって、翻訳はsemantic と communicative の間で議論が尽きるほど簡単な作業ではない。
■ 法律家
Dr. Ronald B. Standler は Bar Exam を経た lawyer だが、そのホームページ では自らの略歴（a terse synopsis of my career）の中で現職を an attorney in Massachusetts and consultant と書いている。また、1834年に連邦最高裁が言及したフレーズは "the right to be left alone" ではなく "the right to be let alone" であり、たしかに a long and storied history があるようだ。その意味ではOEVよりGeorgeさんの訳例1が正しい。Googler（Google を制する者、まめに Google を使う者）がより正確な翻訳をする時代になっているようだ。
■ プライバシー
文明開化後に輸入された liberty や right といった舶来語は明治時代に「超」翻訳者たちが「自由」や「権利」と和訳（もしくは和語を創作）しているが、privacy はアチラでさえ比較的新しい概念で（19世紀末、イギリスといわれる）、コチラでも privacy は「プライバシー」のまま。この権利も、Standler によれば an emerging right で、これに取り組む各国の現状はまちまち。 米国の憲法でも明文化はされず、 他の修正条項を運用してこの権利を擁護する判例が積み重ねられている。
なお、The "right to be let alone" is the most terse definition of the right to privacy. ということで、Standler は「簡単な、簡潔な」という形容詞に terse という hi-reg. word が気に入っているらしい。
[テキスト2]
田中真紀子前外相の長女が自分の私生活を取材され、報じられることに抵抗するのはもっともなことだろう。記事を掲載した週刊文春の出版禁止を求めるのも当事者としては当然かもしれない。しかし、出版禁止という重大な命令を出すかどうかの裁判所の判断は、容易ではないはずだ。
[訳例1]
There's probably no better case of this than that of former Foreign Minister, Tanaka Makiko. When reporters from weekly magazine "Shukan Bunshun" uncovered and ran a story about Tanaka's daughter's divorce, Tanaka fought back, claiming invasion of privacy and launched her most potent salvo, a court order injunction to ban the magazine. Perhaps her insistence that publication be banned before it hit newsstands was to be expected. Whether or not the court decides to uphold an order of this magnitude remains to be seen, but it certainly won't be an easy decision.
[訳例2]
To be sure, our society is full of things that make people want to scream, ``Leave me alone.'' Gossip and rumor that used to be whispered only in private are now spilled by the media to an indefinite audience. Often enough, something one wants to keep to oneself becomes public knowledge.
It was only natural that former Foreign Minister Makiko Tanaka's daughter balked at having a story printed in a magazine about her private life. As the object of prying, she probably had no choice but to demand that the Shukan Bunshun weekly magazine withhold publication of the story in question. For the Tokyo District Court, however, issuing an injunction of this nature is a truly grave matter, and the decision will be anything but easy.
[訳例3]
The modern society is overflowed with such an (1) officious public attention that we can't help crying "leave me alone." Neighborhood gossips and rumors that used to circulate only within each neighborhood now spread through various media to the general public. What you want to keep private often turns out to be open to the general public.
The daughter of Makiko Tanaka, former Minister of Foreign Affairs, may reasonably stands against the media coverage of her private life. It may be natural for her to (2) ask for suppression of Shukan-bunshun that carries her story. The court must find it difficult to decide whether or not to issue such a grave order as suppression.
- Nice words, but I don’t think they work here. How about "media bombardment"?
- She’s doing more than "asking", she’s "demanding", she's "insisting", she’s “ordering”…
[訳例4]
To be sure, our days really abound with things that make you feel like uttering, "Leave me alone." Like it or not, the general public is now (1) kept informed through varieties of the media tools of personal matters that used to be talked about in private as (2) gossips or rumors. Anything you want to keep confidential will very often find its way to becoming an open secret.
It is natural that the daughter of former Foreign Minister Makiko Tanaka wanted to (3) make a slap at those nosy reporters prying into her private life. It is understandable, too, that she filed suit against the publication of her own private story in an issue of the Shukan Bunshun weekly. The court is going to proceed with a series of hearings in order to make a reasonable judgment about whether or not to order the banning of publication. However, in light of the detrimental effects of curtailing free expression, the decision (4) will never be easy.
- kept informed of personal matters through a variety of media
- gossip (singular)
- The wording is a bit awkward here, although I appreciate the approach you’re taking to the language. How about "shut down" or “fire back at” or “strike back”
- will not be an easy one
“…never be easy” almost sounds as if this is a decision that will be made over and over again. This, for now, is a one time decision by the court so I changed the wording to "not be an easy one to make."
□ 井戸端会議
直訳の water-well meeting は英米の文化にない。井戸に対応 するものとしては pub が近い。neighborhood を使った訳例が ３つあったが、よいと思う。
small talk at a common gathering place like a local pub or marketplace
water cooler (bubbler) conversation、talk around the water cooler (bubbler)
オフィスの片隅にある給湯（水）器のそばでのおしゃべり
□ 出版禁止
publication ban, magazine recall, court injunction against an article…
□ 私生活を取材され
pry, snoop around… ⇒ いずれも colloquial で dirty な感じがする（嗅ぎまわる）。
Reporters were snooping.
Stop prying in my life! Stop snooping around!
investigate は 警察や税務署などによる official な調査
■ 現代社会
この「現代」に対し、英語ネイティブ（George さんと朝日新聞国際編集室が擁しているはずのネイティブ・リライター）は living in a "Leave me alone" society とか our society と表現している。つまり、意味は modern よりも単に contemporary、current ということになる。
[テキスト3]
「ほっといて」という切実な声には謙虚に耳を傾けなければならない。しかし、それがすべて、と甘受もしきれない命令だった。
[訳例1]
We should pay careful heed to heartfelt cries of "Leave me alone!" Yet, resigning ourselves to this order is something we shouldn't have to accept.
[訳例2]
Banning the publication is unlikely to do any good at this point. In fact, one could argue that controversy has already served to publicize the magazine. The ban will only highlight the issue of freedom of the press.
I know I should humbly heed her plea to be left alone. But the court injunction was not something I could accept without question.
[訳例3]
We must listen to an earnest desire to be left alone. Yet, this case has left some room for question.
- Since this is a short piece, you may not want to use the adjective "grave" twice.
This is a graceful rendering of the translation. Great work! As for the first paragraph, may I suggest reading Asahi's version, since it is a fine example of clear and concise writing.
[訳例4]
The daughter's anguished cry "to be left alone" should deserve careful consideration. Nonetheless, the court injunction was not something acceptable without question.
- had → did
A very clean and concise translation. I especially liked your approach with the first and second paragraphs. There were a couple of sentences where I changed the word order to strengthen or clarify your meaning.
□ 宣伝の役割
"Publicity" is a better choice. "Advertising" has little sense in this case.
□ 出版禁止の重さばかりが浮き上がる
「浮き上がる」は直訳できない。emphasize による表現も考えられる。
□ 甘受もしきれない
このパラグラフでは主語がはっきりしない。
Some Asides
□ Asahi.com の英訳について
第１段落の朝日英訳は Keep short & Simple（の原則）で、よくまとまっている。
朝日英文のbalked at の balk は野球用語のボークで、意味が弱いと思う（Sounds like hesitation）。日本語の原稿は「抵抗する」だから、stop、resist がよいのではないか。
最後の段落で something I could accept without question などと、突然の "I" はおかしい。
朝日の文章は白黒をはっきり主張せず、逃げているのではないか。その意味で「ぶりっ子」のような文章と感じる。
ところで、「ぶりっ子」にそのまま対応する英語はないが、たとえば次のような表現がある。
a girl who acts (tries to act) cute
an affected young woman
a goody-two-shoes (goody-goody = affectedly sweet, good, or virtuous)
□ ボストン弁（Georgeさんはボストン出身）
Bostonian accent では ar や or の r を発音しない。
たとえば、He works real hahd (hard).。 Why don't you drive? I lost my khaki. Your Gap khaki pants? No, khaki (car key).
投稿者 kz : 2004年11月14日 00:35
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