1 08, 2005

第13回:「モバイルノート」

約60年前にアメリカで作られたENIACという初の電子計算機は夥しい数の真空管を使ったもので、目方がなんと30トンもあり、巨大な暖房装置のようなものであったということです。それが今ではバッテリー内臓のラップトップやノートブックになり、無線LANの環境でモバイルコンピューティングが自由自在となりました。

今後パソコンによるユビキタスコンピューティングがさらに進化すれば、人はコンピュータを「着ちゃう」ようになり、ユーザーインターフェースは音声認識とおでこに装着したLCDモニター。「できるビジネスパーソン」が街を歩けば、上目遣いにぶつぶつひとりごちながら前方不注意で事故多発。記憶や思考のPCへの依存度が高まって子孫の大脳が退化。なんてことにならなければよいのですが。


課題文
モバイルノート

現代のビジネスシーンにおいて、モバイルノートパソコンは必需品のひとつである。数年前なら、スケジュール管理や文書作成程度にしか使われなかったかもしれないが、今やプレゼンデーションでも使用されるのが当たり前、実際、その性能が日々向上しており、メインマシン並みのスペックをもつモバイルも数多く登場している。

しかし、できるビジネスパーソンなら、ここで「モバイル」という言葉にこだわるべきである。どんなにハイスペックなマシンだったとしても、もち歩くだけで疲れるような重いノートパソコンでは意味がない。いつでも気軽に携帯でき、しかも十分にその能力を発揮できるマシン。それこそが「モバイル」と呼ぶにふさわしいノートパソコンなのである。

また、軽さを求めるあまり、堅牢さに欠けるマシンも避けなければならない。「モバイル」である以上、社内であればそのまま、出先ならバッグの中に入れてもち歩く。そんな時にノートパソコンを後生大事に抱えなければならないのでは困りもの。その名の通り、ノートのようにもち運べてこそ「モバイル」なのである。

さて、「モバイル」としての3つの基本(ハイスペック、軽量、堅牢)の次に求めるべきものは何だろう。まず第一にあげられるのは、バッテリーの駆動時間だ。これはノートパソコンの宿命である。「モバイル」するからこそ、電源をコンセントから取れないことも多い。どんなにハイスペックなマシンであっても、途中でバッテリー切れになってしまったのでは都合が悪い。最低でも半日、外を出歩いていても使用できる駆動時間は確保しておきたい。また、意外に忘れがちなのが、ACアダプターだ。出張時などには必ずお世話になるものなので、なるべくコンパクトで軽量なものをやい採用しているモバイルを選ぶべきである。

次にチェックしておきたいのは液晶画面の情報量だ。他人に見せることの少ない使い方が中心であれば、それほど気にかける必要はないかもしれないが、現在はノートパソコンの画面を他人にも見せる時代だ。例えば、プレゼンテーションを行っている時に情報の一部が切れていたり、見づらい表示だったりすると、相手に伝えたいことも十分に伝えられなくなってしまう。


● 今回はテキストが比較的短かったので、提出された訳例が多く、チェックするのに目が疲れたそうです。ここから老眼、近眼の話に移り、英語には「老眼」という一般的な単語がないことを聞きました。したがって「老眼」は次のような説明的なフレーズとなります。

老眼 : farsightedness due to old age
医学用語での老眼 : presbyopia
遠近両用の眼鏡 : bifocalsもしくはbifocal spectacles
老眼鏡は reading glasses というしかない。

● 翻訳のスタイルについて

一般的に文が長いと、それを訳す翻訳者のconcernの順序は
1. Finish on time(提出期限に間に合わせること)
2. Accuracy(翻訳内容・用語の正確さ)
3. Style / tone(どのように表現するか)

となり、逆に文が短いとconcernの順序は
1. Accuracy
2. Style /tone
3. Finish on time
となる。

今回はテキストが短かったので、見直しの時間も多くて accuracy が高く、つまらない mistake が少なかったとのこと。また、各訳者が style に重きを置いているのがよくわかり、それぞれの個性が出ていたようだ。

  • ここで重要なのは、accuracy と style の兼ね合いで、場合によっては、accuracy よりも、attractiveness に重きを置いた style を選ぶことが大切となる。
    読者層を意識して、その人たちにとって情報が(もしくはその情報によって伝わる商品や企業のイメージが)attractive でなければならない。
    Who wants your information? を常に意識する。
    読者が一般大衆であったら、あまり最先端のハイテク用語を使わないこと。そのような用語に馴染みのない読者もいると思われるので、その人たちをバカにしたかのような印象を与えないように注意する。

[テキスト1]

モバイルノート

現代のビジネスシーンにおいて、モバイルノートパソコンは必需品のひとつである。数年前なら、スケジュール管理や文書作成程度にしか使われなかったかもしれないが、今やプレゼンデーションでも使用されるのが当たり前、実際、その性能が日々向上しており、メインマシン並みのスペックをもつモバイルも数多く登場している。


[訳例1]

Mobile Notebook Personal Computers

In today's business scene, mobile notebook personal computers (mobile PC) are an indispensable business tool. Several years ago, the only thing a mobile PC was used for was schedule management or word processing. Nowadays, however, it's hardly unusual for mobile PCs to be used for more sophisticated tasks such as making presentations. And performance continues to improve even as we speak. A number of mobile devices have appeared with capabilities that rival those of desktop computers.


[訳例2]

Mobile Notebook (1) Computer

(2)Mobile computer is an absolute necessity in today's business environment. Several years ago, most (3)mobile computers were used only for time management or word processing. However, (4)as you can see (5)today's most presentations are done by using notebook computers, (6)the range of uses of mobile computers has become wider. The performance of mobile computers has become higher and higher accordingly. Now, many (7)of the mobile computers on the stores have specifications comparable (8) to reliable desktop computers.


  1. Since the article is talking about a specific type of computer (personal computers), you may want to use this term, at least in the beginning when introducing it.
  2. As you are introducing the type of computer here, you should choose one of these forms: "The mobile notebook computer is" or "Mobile notebook computers are.
  3. I think it would be better if you used "notebook computers" or "mobile notebook PCs" because the article is talking about a specific type of computer; notebook computers.
  4. This phrase needs to set off with commas: "However, as you can see, today's…"
  5. This phrase doesn't flow too well. You might want to try "…most presentations today are done…"
  6. This segment expresses a completely different idea, so it may be better to make this a separate sentence.
  7. This segment is probably not necessary. The sentence is smoother without it.
  8. To make the comparison clearer, you need to establish what part of the desktop computers is the same as notebook PCs. So, you need to mention "….have specifications comparable to those of reliable…"

[訳例3]

Mobile notebook computers are an essential part of modern business (1) paraphernalia. Until a few years ago, their uses were limited to mere logistic or administrative tasks such as document preparation and schedule management. But they now play much more active roles (2) at the business frontlines, including (3) arketing presentations. (4) Vendors are offering many notebook models, boasting capabilities rivaling those found in high-end desktop systems.

  1. This is probably okay, but you might want to check to see if paraphernalia describes only small objects or also includes OA equipment and other devices.
  2. I think the word order would be better as "…active roles at the frontlines of business,"
  3. This segment needs a verb to help separate it from the first half of the sentence. Right now, it's a bit hard to figure out how marketing presentations are included in something. Perhaps "…frontlines of business, where they are used to make marketing presentations."
  4. Would "Vendors" be the only type of people who are offering notebook models?

[訳例4]

Mobile Notebook PC

A mobile notebook PC is an essential component of the contemporary business scene. In just a few years, mobile notebook PCs have gone from being a scheduler or a word processor to a powerful presentation machine used by an (1) individual sales rep. In fact, the performance has been evolving (2) day to day, (3) having allowed a variety of mobile notebook PCs with high (4) spec (5) like a mainframe machine to be available on the market.


  1. Is there a particular reason why you chose to use this phrase? There is no reference to this in the original Japanese and it's difficult to see why the use has to be limited to "individual sales rep."
  2. You may want to try a different phrase here. This phrase generally means "things happen or change on a daily basis."
  3. I'm not sure you want to say that this has been "allowed." This sounds like mobile notebook PCs need permission to enter the market.
  4. Probably the word "specs" would work okay here.
  5. I think another word such as "equivalent to" or "comparable to" would work better here (I personally do not use "like" so often).

[訳例5]

Notebook PC for mobile use

In many business situations today, a notebook personal computer (PC) for mobile use is certainly (1) a crucial gear. Several years ago, the use of a mobile PC was mostly limited to such simple tasks as schedule management and document creation, but is now common practice (2) for such important tasks as business (3) presentation. The performance of a mobile PC is (4) actually day by day. A number of mobile PCs have been introduced on the market whose specifications are comparable to those of desktop PCs.

  1. This would probably sound better if it is changed to "…a crucial piece of gear"
  2. A verb describing what is common practice may make this segment easier to understand; for example "…is now common practice for handling such important…"
  3. This should be plural; "business presentations"
  4. Because the usage of "actually" and "literally" are pretty much the same, this is a bit redundant. You don't need to use them together.

[訳例6]

Nowadays a mobile computer is a must-have device for anyone (1) at work. Mobile computers, which were used for little more than schedule management and word processing a few years ago, (2) has become common devices (3) even for a presentation meeting. Because performance of mobile computers (4) has been constantly improved, many (5) latest mobile computers are (6) competitive with mainframe computers.

  1. Not just "at work" but for all people who work. You might want to say"…device for anyone who works" or "… device for all working persons"
  2. This needs to be the plural form.
  3. This should probably be "…common devices for making presentations at meetings."
  4. Since improvements are constantly being made, the verb tense here should probably be "…is constantly being improved"
  5. This should probably be "…many of the latest model mobile computers…"
  6. "Competitive" is generally used to describe prices or marketability. If you are referring to the functions and capabilities, you should probably used "comparable" or "equivalent to."

「ノートパソコンは必需品」をどう表現するか?

business tool 以外に、device、gearという表現も訳例の中にあった。どれも正しいが、やや soft なイメージ。もしこの記事が男性誌に掲載されているのであれば、男性に appeal するような言葉、例えば business weapon / technological arsenal という言葉を用いてもよい。

「数年前」をどう表現するか?

a few years ago / several years agoのどちらでもいいと思われるが、Greg さんの感覚に基づいて数の表現を整理すると…
a few: 2 ~ 5
a couple of : 2 もしくは 3(正確には 3 は couple ではないが、含めても可)
several: 2 ~ 9 ? (非常にあいまい。ただし1桁の数字)
a number of: さらにあいまい。more than several だが、それほど多くはない。特許明細などには使えない。)

また、some years ago と書くと、「数年前」というより「何年か前」という意味になりnot recentlyが強調される。

laptop PC と notebook PC と mobile PC の違いは?

laptopとnotebookはサイズの違いによって区別する。米国ではlaptop PCとnotebook PCの売り場が違うという。

mobile PC は mobile communication gear のことで、Wi-Fiテクノロジを用いてワイヤレスにネット接続できる携帯PCのこと。

メインマシンとは何か?

言うまでもなくメインマシンはメインフレームのことではない。ここでは、ノートブックPCをサブマシンと考えた場合のメインマシンなので、デスクトップPCを意味する。ただしノートブックPCしかもっていない人にとっては、ノートブックPCがその人のメインマシンとなるので、この日本語の表現はあいまいで不適切。


[テキスト2]

しかし、できるビジネスパーソンなら、ここで「モバイル」という言葉にこだわるべきである。どんなにハイスペックなマシンだったとしても、もち歩くだけで疲れるような重いノートパソコンでは意味がない。いつでも気軽に携帯でき、しかも十分にその能力を発揮できるマシン。それこそが「モバイル」と呼ぶにふさわしいノートパソコンなのである。

[訳例1]

But for the highly-productive businessperson, the key word here is "mobile." It doesn't matter how impressive the computer's specs are; if the notebook PC is so heavy that carrying it around saps your energy, it defeats the very purpose of having a portable machine. A device doesn't deserve to be called mobile unless it has the same capabilities as a desktop computer and is completely portable.

[訳例2]

When choosing a mobile computer, if you are (1) a smart user you should find one that is truly mobile. No matter how high (2) specification a mobile computer has, the computer is useless if it is too heavy to (3) bring it along. A truly mobile computer is the one that is lightweight enough to be taken everywhere (4) but provides its full performance.

  1. I think the intention of the article is not to point out "smart users" but rather "competent businesspersons."
  2. Page: 6
    This segment needs to be restructured a little. It will read more smoothly if you say "…how high the specifications of a mobile notebook PC might be, the …"
  3. I think "carry around" may work better here.
  4. The point here is not whether or not the computer is able to provide its full performance, but rather "….be taken everywhere and is capable of high performance."

[訳例3]

But if you are a (1) discerning business person shopping for a mobile computer, then (2) the mobility should be the very attribute for you to value (3) in the first place. It would make no sense, however, to have a (4) notebook so heavy that you get exhausted just hauling it around, even if the specifications are high. After all, a notebook computer deserves the adjective mobile only if it is easy to carry (2) and as capable as a desktop at the same time.

  1. "Discerning" generally is used to describe people who are careful or savvy. I think the original Japanese is describing a business person who is competent or efficient, not just selective.
  2. This article isn't really necessary.
  3. Since you have already said "the very attribute…", this phrase is not really necessary. The sentence is smoother without it.
  4. Although it is easily understood that "notebook" probably refers to "mobile computers," it may be clearer to the reader if you insert some kind of connection between "notebook" and "mobile computer." Right now, the word "notebook" makes a sudden appearance here with no way of knowing it is the same machine as the mobile computer.
  5. This needs to have the verb "is": "…to carry and is as capable…"

[訳例4]

If you are a competent businessperson, you should stick to (1) "mobile" in selecting a notebook PC (2) for you. If such a high spec notebook PC is too heavy to (3) carry along it is far from "mobile". A notebook PC that deserves the name of "mobile" is a machine light enough to be carried easily (4) at anytime while fully demonstrating its capabilities.

  1. Page: 7
    Putting words inside quotations means there is some special meaning to the word. Since the word has not been clearly been established as being the short version of mobile notebook PC yet, you may need to reconsider the necessity of putting this inside quotation marks
  2. This may be a bit redundant. The person is obviously choosing a notebook PC for himself or herself, so it isn't necessary to repeat that fact again by saying "for you."
  3. I think the correct phrase here is "carry around."
  4. This sounds a bit strange. "At anytime" is generally used in such phrases as "The bomb could explode at anytime," so in this sentence, you probably don't want to use it with the preposition "at."

[訳例5]

However, (1) a task-oriented business person (2) would appreciate what "mobile" really means in selecting his/her mobile PC. Although (1) the computer is a top-class machine, it is practically of no use if it is so heavy that the user (3) gets reluctant to carry it around. The two seemingly conflicting features, (4) portability and high performance, that is, reasonably lightweight to carry around and delivering its full capabilities anywhere at any time, are what (5) a true notebook PC for "mobile" use should provide.

  1. I wonder if this clearly describes what the Japanese original says. I think it is not so much a "task-oriented" person, but a person who is capable and efficient
  2. Rather than "would," I think "should" works better here. Also, do you wish to say that such a businessperson should "appreciate" what mobile means, or would it be better to say "should clearly understand" or "clearly grasp" what mobile means?
  3. I think "is" would be sufficient here, rather than "gets."
  4. This segment is a bit long; since you have already mentioned what the features are, it probably isn't really necessary to repeat it, even using "that is…"
  5. You might be able to shorten this by saying, "…what a truly mobile notebook PC should provide."

[訳例6]

A competent business person should (1) stick to what "mobile" means. A high-spec computer would be of no use if it (2) is so heavy that you (3) exhaust yourself carrying it. (4) A computer that you can take along easily and expect high performance from is the notebook computer worth calling a "mobile computer."

  1. This doesn't feel quite right. What should a competent businessperson "stick to"? Just the meaning of "mobile"? Should a businessperson look for "mobile" as a key word in looking for a computer?
  2. Since you used "would" earlier to set up the conditional, you should use "were" here.
  3. For the same reason as above, you should use "exhausted" here.
  4. Because of the construction of the rest of the sentence, this should start as "Only a computer that you can …"

「できるビジネスパーソン」をどう表現するか

俗っぽい表現なら、「バリバリのビジネスマン」という意味で次の①と②が使える。
① hot-shot もしくはhot shot(形容詞・名詞)
形容詞で使う場合、ハイフンはつけてもつけなくてもよい
② top gun もしくは Top Gun(形容詞・名詞)
形容詞で使う場合もハイフンなし
①-1: He thinks he is a hot shot.(名詞で使用)
①-2: He is a hot-shot environmental lawyer.(形容詞で使用)
②-1: He used to fly F-16 fighters, but now he is a Top Gun of the Internet.(名詞で使用)
②-2: He is a "top gun" guitar salesman.(形容詞で使用)

hot-shotの場合は、上記例文(①-1)にもあるように、「自分がそう思っているだけ」とか「あまりにambitious すぎたり、自己中心で周りとなじまない」という好ましくないニュアンスがあるので注意 ⇒ He is a hot shot but not a team player.
top gun には悪いニュアンスなし。

up-and-coming business leaders という表現もある。
a creative businessperson は 必ずしも productive ではなく、反対を意味する場合が多い。

真に「できるビジネスパーソン」であればもともと人に使われていないだろうからhot-shot (executive, entrepreneur) でさしつかえないが、一般的には経営者側から見てできるだけ productive な人が「できる」ことになるのだろう。しかし、できる人ならショッピングに際しても discerning だというのは勝手な飛躍。

Q: person と people はどう分けて使うか?何人から people になるのか?

A: もちろん一人では people にならないが、二人以上の場合、人数による区別はしない。一人一人を個人として捉えてイメージするときには people ではなくpersonsを使う。
また、people は mass の概念で捉えるので、文法的には fewer people と言うべきところを less people(人の集団として小さい)と表現する人もいる。

Q:「こだわる」をどう表現するか? Greg さんの訳例には「こだわる」という言葉が使用されていないが、stick toを使ったら間違いか?

A: stick to は間違いではないが compact な style を求めれば、訳例のような別の表現ができる。

■ Gregさん流の、翻訳およびその推敲ステップ

  1. 原文に忠実にaccurateに訳す
  2. 同じ表現や言葉が繰り返し使われていないかをチェックし、別の表現に変える。
  3. もっと良い表現がないか style / tone を考えなおす。
  4. 対象となる読者を意識して、表現、用語を見直す。
英訳を読んだときに、もとの日本語が推測できるようなものは完成度が低い。もともと英語で書かれていると思わせるような訳文を目標とするとよい。good translation は褒め言葉ではない。訳文自体が good article と呼ばれるものを目指したい。


[テキスト3]

また、軽さを求めるあまり、堅牢さに欠けるマシンも避けなければならない。「モバイル」である以上、社内であればそのまま、出先ならバッグの中に入れてもち歩く。そんな時にノートパソコンを後生大事に抱えなければならないのでは困りもの。その名の通り、ノートのようにもち運べてこそ「モバイル」なのである。

[訳例1]

Of course, a mobile PC should be lightweight, but not at the expense of durability and ruggedness. Being mobile means you should be able to use your mobile PC at your office and then pack it into your shoulderbag and take it with you when you go out. But when you have to go out, it's hardly practical if you have to treat your mobile PC as if you were carrying the Crown Jewels. A mobile PC hasn't earned the right to be called mobile unless it can truly be carried around like a pad of notepaper.

[訳例2]

You should avoid (1) the mobile computer whose robustness is traded off for reducing its weight. As it is mobile, you (2) will carry it without cover in your office, and (3) you will carry it in a (4) baggage on your business trip. (5) In such occasions, it will be troublesome if you have (6) to carry the computer with your utmost caution. You can say the notebook computer is really mobile only when you can carry it (7) along ust like (8) a notebook as its name implies.

  1. The indefinite article is probably okay here: "…avoid a mobile notebook PC…"
  2. This should probably be "can" or "should be able to"
  3. You really don't need this segment.
  4. "Baggage" does not refer to an item, it is a category of goods. This should be "bag."
  5. Wrong preposition. This should be "On."
  6. The word order here is a bit awkward. It makes the sentence difficult to construct. You might want to try reconstructing it so it reads "…to worry about breaking your notebook PC every time you carry it around."
  7. This should probably be "around."
  8. Since you haven't used the word "notebook" yet in your original translation, it is difficult to say "…as its name implies…" because there is no connection.

[訳例3]

For a mobile computer, solid construction is another important factor that should never be traded off for being lightweight. (1) As required you will fold your notebook and stuff it in a bag as a take along for computing on the go. (2) But what if you have to be very careful (3) to walk holding the bag in your arms as if your newborn baby (4) is inside? No notebook computer can be mobile unless it is designed to guarantee (5) the carefree portability of a notebook, literally.

  1. I think this sentence would be smoother if it started out "When necessary, you could fold your …"
  2. Although I think this is a good sentence, it poses a question to the reader that is not really answered in the next sentence. If this is to be a rhetorical question, it needs to be phrased a little differently.
  3. This feels a little awkward. You may want to rewrite this part so it flows more smoothly, such as "…very careful when walking around, holding the bag in your arms…"
  4. As you have set up a conditional structure with "if…", this should probably be "were
  5. I like the usage of the word "literally" but it perhaps would be more effective if repositioned. For example, "…designed to literally guarantee the carefree portability of a pad of notepaper."

[訳例4]

However, you cannot pursue light weight to (1) a point of losing robustness. (2) "Mobile" notebook PCs are carried along as they are, in the office, and (3) being in a bag, outside the office. You may not want to carry a notebook PC so lovingly as if carrying something (4) vulnerable. "Mobile" notebook PCs have to be robust enough for being (5) casually carried like a paper notebook.

  1. This probably should use the definite article.
  2. Any reference to mobile doesn't really need to be put inside quotation marks.
  3. This should probably be "…and inside a bag outside the office."
  4. The nuance here isn't so much about being vulnerable as being delicate.
  5. I think I know what you want to say, but how do you "casually" carry something? Is there a "formal" way to carry something?

[訳例5]

Robustness should not be sacrificed for (1) ultra-lightness. A mobile PC is carried around either (2) unprotected or stored in a bag depending (3) on where you are, either in your office or on the road. It would be troublesome if special (4) handling care (5) must be taken in those situations. As the name implies, a "mobile" PC should be handled as if it were (6) a bit bulkier notebook.

  1. This might be a bit too strong of a description; the meaning isn't about being "ultra-light," only about being "light."
  2. This sounds a bit off. The nuance is not really "unprotected." You just need to mention the ability to carry it around.
  3. This segment might sound smoother if you just say, "…depending on whether you are in your office or on the road."
  4. I think either "handling" or "care" would be enough; not both
  5. Simply say, "…special handling were needed…"
  6. This is a little different from the original Japanese. This might be a bit confusing because we can't tell if you mean a notebook PC or a notebook containing paper. And if you say "a bit bulkier notebook," it sounds like you mean a bigger and heavier laptop.

[訳例6]

You should avoid computers that trade off robustness for light weight and mobility. If a computer deserves to be called a "mobile" computer, it needs nothing to (1) cover it in the office and no more than a bag to (2) hold it out of the office (3) , when you carry it. A computer (4) that should be cradled in that situation is nothing but a burden. As its name implies, a mobile notebook computer should be the one that you can take along like (5) a notebook.

  1. Do you mean something like a sheet or tarp?
  2. I think you mean "carry it"
  3. This segment is not really necessary if you mention "carry it" earlier in the sentence.
  4. I think "A computer that needs to be cradled gently is nothing but a burden" sounds better here.
  5. You might want to write this part so there is a more obvious difference between "notebook PC" and "notebook." Right now, it's hard to know what is being referred to with "notebook."

「堅牢さ」をどう表現するか?
Greg さんの感覚だと、robust を人に使えば healthy という意味になるが、機械に使うと、堅牢という意味ではなく、high-spec、high-quality、high-performance の意味を与えるそう。This PC is robust enough to handle graphics. など。 従って、「頑丈な」という意味を出すには、durable / strong / rugged を使う。

以下は、ナショナルが開発した耐久性の高い戦闘地用PCに関する文。
Panasonic has taken the experience learned from years of manufacturing rugged notebook computers for field service, law enforcement, public safety, and military applications, and applied this to the industry's most complete line of rugged notebook computers
TOUGHBOOK Rugged Features

でも・・・
Accu-Sort's enhanced Model 22 Series II has a rugged NEMA-12 rated construction and a stronger thread-on connector ensuring reliable power coupling. The combination of these new features yields a very robust enclosure for applications requiring durability.
Computer_Enclosure


[テキスト4]

さて、「モバイル」としての3つの基本(ハイスペック、軽量、堅牢)の次に求めるべきものは何だろう。まず第一にあげられるのは、バッテリーの駆動時間だ。これはノートパソコンの宿命である。「モバイル」するからこそ、電源をコンセントから取れないことも多い。どんなにハイスペックなマシンであっても、途中でバッテリー切れになってしまったのでは都合が悪い。最低でも半日、外を出歩いていても使用できる駆動時間は確保しておきたい。また、意外に忘れがちなのが、ACアダプターだ。出張時などには必ずお世話になるものなので、なるべくコンパクトで軽量なものをやい採用しているモバイルを選ぶべきである。

[訳例1]

Now, what should you look for in a mobile PC in addition to the three fundamental features of high specs, light weight, and durability? First of all, you should check to see how long the device can run on its battery. Battery life is the feature that a mobile PC lives or dies by. Because you are mobile, the assumption is that you are out and about, and probably not near an electrical outlet. It won't matter how high-tech your device is; if you run out of juice in the middle of a task, things can look pretty bad. At the very least, you need to have a battery that will give you a half-day's worth of work-on-the-go. Another important but often overlooked feature is the AC adaptor. Because you need to have one of these when you are traveling on business, you should choose a mobile PC that comes with an AC adaptor that is as compact and lightweight as possible.

[訳例2]

Well, what (1) will follow the three basic requirements (high specification, lightweight, and robust)? First to come to mind is the battery life. This (2) is unavoidable issue for a notebook computer. As the computer is mobile, you may often have to use it without a wall socket. No matter (3) high specification the computer has, the computer is useless if its battery goes dead while (4) outside. The battery life should last at least half a day without (5) a wall socket. Don't forget to check the size of the AC adaptor. You will have to bring it on your business (6) trip. So you should choose a computer that adopts a smaller and more lightweight AC adaptor.

  1. Although the Japanese original says "…next…" or "…follows…", the idea here is closer to saying something about "Well, what else is there in addition to the three basic…"
  2. You need an indefinite article here: "an unavoidable"
  3. This isn't very smooth. You may want to rearrange the word order. "No matter how high the notebook PC's specs are, it is useless…"
  4. This just means "outdoors", so you may need to be more specific about what you mean
  5. I think the idea here is not so much the wall socket, but the need to recharge the battery.
  6. These two sentences could be joined together to form one nicely flowing sentence. Use a comma.

[訳例3]

Then, what (1) comes after the above three basic qualifications – high specs, light weight and structural robustness – as a mobile computer for professional use? First of all, you should check the number of hours a notebook can run on its internal battery without recharging. For a mobile computer, the battery life is of vital consideration because you can (2) hardly find a power outlet while on the road. A (3) mobile would be useless if the battery runs out faster than you have finished your work with it, however powerful it might be. You should want the battery to last for at least (4) half a while you are out for a day's business. Also important is the AC adaptor, though it is often overlooked. Because you need it whenever you are on a business trip, choose a mobile that comes with an AC adaptor (5) as compact and lightweight as possible.

  1. Although the Japanese original does mention something about "…next…", I think it is not necessarily meant to express the idea of "next" or "following." I think it is more along the lines of "what else" or "in addition to."
  2. The basic meaning of "hardly" is correct, but the usage is a bit different. In this sentence, a better word is "seldom." The word "hardly" is generally used in conjunction with an absolute, such as "She ate hardly any dinner" or "I hardly ever buy brand name goods."
  3. It may be a good idea to be consistent in what you call this device; sometimes it is referred to as "notebook" and other times "mobile" and still other times "mobile notebook PC." Although it is good to use a variety of expressions to keep the article from sounding monotonous, it is necessary to make sure that you have established that all of the names refer to the same item.
  4. I don't believe there is a phrase such as "half a… while you are" Is this a typing mistake?
  5. I think this segment would flow much more smoothly if you insert "….adaptor that is as compact as…"

[訳例4]

What comes next to the three basic requirements (high spec, light weight, robustness) in selecting a mobile notebook PC? Battery operating time must be (1) the fourth, (2) a kind of fate unable to escape when talking about notebook PCs. If you use the notebook PC as "mobile", (3) it is difficult to have power from an outlet. Even if you use a high spec machine, (4) running of the battery (5) makes you trouble. It is desirable to secure a battery operating time (6) enough for allowing you to work outside the office (7) at least for a half day. The AC adaptor is also an inevitable accessory to (8) bring with for (9) such as business trip, but is likely to be (10) neglected in selecting a mobile notebook PC. You had better select a notebook PC with a compact, light AC adaptor.

  1. It may not be a good idea to number this item "the fourth" since there is no indication of using a numbering system in the original Japanese.
  2. The way this is written, it sounds like the fate is the thing that is escaping. Also, why "fate"?
  3. Actually, it isn't difficult at all to get power from an outlet if you are using a notebook PC as a mobile. You need to express that it's difficult to use a notebook PC when you are on the move.
  4. This should probably be "running it on the battery."
  5. This should be "will cause problems" or "may cause trouble."
  6. "Long enough to allow you to …" sounds better, I think.
  7. I think the word order here should be "…outside the office for at least half a day."
  8. This should be "…to bring along"
  9. This sounds strange or incomplete. Do you want to say "…bring along on business trips"? Why do you need "..such as.."?
  10. Do you want to say that you forget to buy an adaptor or do you mean to say you have an adaptor but forget to use it? This is a bit vague.

[訳例5]

What is nearly as important as these three basics for a "mobile" (1) PC; high specifications, lightness and robustness? The first thing to check is the capacity of (2) a built-in battery, (3) which is a bottleneck every notebook PC inherently has. Most (4) "mobile" environments obviously do not offer any wall outlets. It's ridiculous to have a top-class PC whose battery does not last long enough (5) to keep the machine operating to complete a certain task. (6) You may want to ensure that the battery will last for at least half a day when used outdoor. Something important to remember is that you (7) would occasionally need an AC adapter. Choose a mobile PC (8) which comes with (9) one as compact and lightweight as possible because you definitely use it every time you are (10) off the office.

  1. I think this sentence would read more smoothly if you could rearrange it a little. "What is nearly as important as high specifications, lightweight, and sturdiness, the three basics for a mobile?" Or something like this.
  2. This should be the definite article "the.
  3. This is a little vague. It may be a little clearer if you could explain what you mean by the battery being a bottleneck. Is it the lack of capacity or the limit to the amount of charge of the battery?
  4. What is a mobile environment? Does an environment move around? You might want to clarify this by explaining "Most environments where a person would be on the move…" or something similar to this.
  5. This is probably okay, but perhaps a bit redundant. It's probably enough to say "…last long enough to complete…"
  6. I don't know if "you" can ensure that the battery will last half a day. You should probably say that "You should make sure your battery lasts for at least half a day…"
  7. This needs to be "will"
  8. Check grammar rule concerning the use of "that" and "which"
  9. Do you think it is clear that you are referring to an adaptor and not a battery here?
  10. The correct phrase is "out of the office"

[訳例6]

What should (1) come next to the three basic requirements (2) on mobile computers (high-specification, light weight, and robustness)? Battery (3) driving time should be your next concern. Mobility is what notebook computers are intended for, and that's why they can't always plug into a wall outlet. Even a high-spec machine becomes useless if its battery runs out midway through (4) the operation. You need to secure enough battery (5) driving time that can supply electricity to your computer (6) at least half a day away from office. In addition, an AC adapter is important on business (7) trip though we are likely to forget about it. It would be better to choose a mobile computer that comes equipped with a compact and lightweight AC adapter.

  1. A different verb might be better here. It's a little vague what you mean by "come next to…" You might try "What should be considered…" or some other similar verb.
  2. A different preposition may be better; for example "for."
  3. I'm not sure if this phrase would be understood by the reader. Perhaps "Battery life" or "Battery capacity" would work.
  4. Indefinite article "an" is more appropriate here, I think.
  5. See above explanation.
  6. The preposition "for" should be put in here; "…to your computer for at least …"
  7. This needs to be in the plural form.

[4-1] 「駆動時間」をどう表現するか?
Q:battery lifeと書くと、batteryの寿命と間違われないか?

A:PCのスペックを見ると、駆動時間の意味でbattery lifeと書かれているので、問題ないと思われる。battery life=battery hours

なお、iPod miniがバカ売れしているApple社でもbattery lifeを多用しており、「バッテリー寿命」"battery life"と「バッテリー耐用年数」"battery lifespan"とを次のように説明しています。
Battery life means the time your PowerBook, iBook or iPod will run before it must be recharged (sometimes this is also called "playtime" or "runtime").
Battery lifespan means the total amount of time your battery will last before it must be replaced.
下記URL参照。
http://www.apple.com/batteries/(英語版) http://www.apple.co.jp/batteries/index.html(日本語版(ややぎこちない日本語ですが・・・・))

[テキスト5]

次にチェックしておきたいのは液晶画面の情報量だ。他人に見せることの少ない使い方が中心であれば、それほど気にかける必要はないかもしれないが、現在はノートパソコンの画面を他人にも見せる時代だ。例えば、プレゼンテーションを行っている時に情報の一部が切れていたり、見づらい表示だったりすると、相手に伝えたいことも十分に伝えられなくなってしまう。

[訳例1]

Another feature you want to check is how much can be seen on the mobile PC's LCD screen. If you are the only person who will be looking at the screen, the number of pixels it can display may not be a concern. But mobile PCs are now used for displaying information to other people, such as when making a presentation. If the screen isn't able to display the images clearly or the images are cut off, you aren't conveying the full message or information to the viewers.

[訳例2]

One more thing to be checked is the amount of information the LCD provides. If you do not have to show the display to others so often, you need not worry about it. However, recently many users use a notebook computer to show the information on the display to others. For example, during a presentation, if part of the information on the display is not displayed or the display has poor viewability, you may not fully present to audiences what you want to present.

[訳例3]

What is more, you should check the amount of information that can be shown (1) at once in the LCD screen. This may not necessarily be important if (2) you think the monitor is exclusively for your own purposes. These days, however, there are (3) increasing cases that multiple persons share data prepared on a single notebook. During a sales presentation, for instance, you can lose your edge (4) failing to communicate your ideas effectively with a mobile notebook displaying defective or blurred information.

  1. This phrase may not be necessary. If you feel you must use something here, "…at one time…" may work better.
  2. This segment doesn't really contribute to the general idea of the sentence and also narrows the scope of the meaning, so I would suggest leaving it out.
  3. Rather than a word that suggests an ongoing action (increasing), I think just saying "more cases…" is more clear. Or you could reconstruct this part to say "These days, however, it is becoming increasingly common for multiple persons to share…"
  4. This phrase should be either "…lose your edge if you fail to communicate…" or "…lose your edge by failing to communicate…"

[訳例4]

The next check point is how much information can be displayed on the LC screen. Although those who seldom show the screen to others may not need to check this point, this is important for those who use notebook PCs (1) by presenting the screen to others. Such usage has becomes more common (2) in these days. For example, if a part (3) of information is not displayed, or information is (4) not clearly displayed during presentation, it is difficult to convey the message (5)completely.

  1. Wrong preposition here. Your sentence says that people use PCs by means of presenting the screen to others. You don't mean this, do you?
  2. The word "in" is not necessary here.
  3. There should be a definite article here; "…if a part of the information…"
  4. Probably you could use "it" here.
  5. This may be a little confusing because you are using the word "message" for the first time. How is "message" different or similar to "information"? What message are you talking about?

[訳例5]

The next thing to check is the resolution of the LCD display, i.e., how much information your LCD display (1) gives. (2) It is very likely these days that you may need to show your notebook PC's monitor to your business partners/customers, unless you use your PC mostly for your own purposes and therefore the resolution of the LCD display is not so critical. For example, if the information on the monitor is partly truncated or poorly displayed during a presentation, important information cannot be adequately conveyed to your (3) counterparts.

  1. I think "provides" works better here.
  2. I think this sentence would easier to follow if you broke it into two separate sentences
  3. Perhaps you should just say "other viewers" rather than saying "your counterparts"

[訳例6]

The next requirement is (1) about volume of information that appears on an LCD. If you (2) hardly show your mobile computer display to others, you don't have to (3) care about it. Nowadays, however, we quite often (4) share a computer display with others. For example, if some information is cut off from a display (5) or hard to see on the display, you can't convey the necessary information, (6) while making a presentation.

  1. The next requirement is not "about" the volume of information. It "is" the volume of information.
  2. Wrong word. This should be "seldom."
  3. I think "…don't have to be concerned about it," is better.
  4. I don't think we really share the display with others. We allow others to view it.
  5. This is missing a word; "…from a display or it is hard to see…"
  6. You may not want to limit this to just when making a presentation. You want to convey information to viewers at all times.

「液晶画面」をどう表現するか?

LCDは技術を指しているので、液晶画面はLCD panel もしくはLCD screen と表現する。monitorはテレビの画面を指す言葉なので、適さない。

「情報の一部が切れていたり・・・」の意味は?

画面のピクセル数が1280× 960や1024× 768では、ネットの画面が切れることなく表示されるが、800×600の画面だと、端が切れて見えないことがある。そのことを言っている。

Q:「情報の一部」の訳にimageが使われているが、textまでもimageと表現すると誤解を招くのでは?

A: what is on the screen(画面上に表示されているもの)をまとめてimageと表現したつもり。

投稿者 kz : 2005年01月08日 22:32

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