Translating is a skill that helps communicate the meaning of documents from one language to another. Industrial translation is the translation of documents that are generated in the course of conducting business, and differs from the translation of materials that is a part of the publishing process in such genres as arts and literature, non-fiction, and foreign magazines. Due to the nature of the contents of industrial translation, this type of translation is also referred to as business translation. The translation of academic papers and other such documents needed by specialists, including scholars and doctors to conduct their research, also falls into the realm of industrial translation. A large portion of the materials that companies need to have translated include documents related to products or technologies that are destined to appear in the marketplace. As a result, the translator often has the responsibility of communicating and disseminating the latest technologies.

1. Technical → Industrial。I think the term most commonly used is "Industrial"
2. What does "them" refer to?
3. novel → novels。ただし、ここではliteratureのほうがよい。Two points about this word: if you use this as a category of publication, it should be in the plural form; do you wish to limit translations to only novels or should you use a term that includes a wider range of writings, such as "literature"?
4. There is a sentence missing here. The sentence about the other definition of this type of translation has been dropped. (訳者注：「別名、実務翻訳ともいう」の部分が抜けているとのご指摘だが、産業翻訳も実務翻訳もどちらも英語にするとtechnical translationになるのではと思い、あえて抜いた。)
5. scientific → academic
6. the不要。
7. 冠詞theが必要。
8. the → a。Rather than the definite article, I think the indefinite article is better here.

1. Does industrial translation involve the art of something or is translation the art itself?
2. Is this the correct term? I think a more accurate term is either "business translation" or "practical translation."
3. Does the original text refer to the translation of the papers written by doctors and scholars or does the text refer to papers translated so they can be used by doctors and scholars?

1. Do you want to specifically limit industrial translations to outsourced work or do you mean to include all types of translation work?
2. Are people who do this type of work actually called "industrial translators"?
3. Is this true? Is the general term "technical translation" or perhaps "business" or "practical" translation? Of course, it is possible that there is not fixed term that is accepted by everyone.
4. This feels a bit odd to me. Something like "In contrast to.." may be more familiar.
5. As these are categories, they should be in the singular form: fiction, non-fiction.
6. This segment feels a bit vague to me. Does this mean that translators who work for business customers are the only people who might find themselves handling such information? This sentence also does not mention the role of translators in communicating this information to the public.

1. This should probably be simply "industrial" as it seems to be the term used most often.
2. This segment sounds a bit awkward (because of the usage of + ing with two words so close together). It might be better to say "…to assist in conveying the contents…"
3. Are you assisting in conveying just the contents or the meaning of the contents?
4. This is a category of writing, so it should be a generic noun (singular form)
5. A small matter, but do you think there is a difference between "international" and "foreign"?
6. This segment sounds a bit redundant. You should probably try to combine it with the "…generated in enterprises.."
7. Should this be limited to scientific, or should it include all types of academic papers?
8. The nuance of this phrase is that conveying information about advanced technologies is a bad thing. Is this your intention?

○ 翻訳は・・・技術である
skill が最適。ability to do something ということで、意味が広い。
technique は skill に包含される。
art は名人級の技ということになる。
skilled in the art : 当業者（特許）

○ fiction、nonfiction
カテゴリー名だから不可算で用いる。

There are various types of industrial translations, each of which can be categorized in accordance with three basic elements. The first element is the language; what is the source language, and does the source document need to be translated into Japanese or into a foreign language. The second element is the type of document, and the third element is the field or subject matter of the document.

The language commanding the greatest demand is English. Even if the demand for all non-English languages were to be added together, the volume would still not amount to half that of the demand for the translation of English-related documents. If you are thinking of earning your livelihood solely by doing translations, English is the language of choice.

The types of documents requiring translation include correspondence between companies, contracts, manuals (instruction manuals), specifications, patents, pamphlets, newspaper and magazine articles, research papers, and essays. At present, the greatest demand is for the translation of manuals. There is also strong demand for documents such as patents and contracts.

The fields or industries requiring translations are very diverse. These include electrical and electronics, machinery and equipment, chemical, pharmaceutical, medical, energy, steel and metals, civil engineering and construction, and finance and securities. At present, demand is greatest in fields related to computers, which account for nearly one-third of the total demand. At the height of the bubble economy, vast quantities of translations were needed in fields related to finance and securities, but the volume has dropped off dramatically since then. As a rule, demand for translations is strong in industries that are booming.

1. A nice word and technically it's OK. But for automobiles words like "bulky" and "clunky" work better in this context.
2. categorized → characterized。
3. Talking from → With respect to。I don't think "talking" is quite appropriate to begin this type of sentence. You might want to consider a phrase such as "With respect to .."
4. the language with the highest demand is English
5. the demands for English →half of the demand for English
6. To be safe (with saying which direction the translation is being done), you could say "…wise to do translations involving English."
7. Type of documentsまたはType of the document
8. This should be "correspondence" because you are referring to a type of document.
9. Is the word "documents" necessary here?
10. Perhaps "magazines" is better here.
11. demand is greatest for manuals
12. demand is steady for
13. Currently,
14. I don't think it is necessary to include phrases such as "it is said" or "it is reported." In this sentence, this phrase serves no real purpose, so you could safely omit it.
15. all demand
16. 単複不一致。there were huge amount of → there is a huge amount ofまたはthere are huge amounts of
17. This is linked to the previous comment.
18. Actually, the demand was for translation of these types of documents; the demand was not for these documents themselves.
19. re you saying that there are not many of these documents any longer, or are you saying that the demand for the translation of these documents is not so high?
20. This sentence is rather difficult to understand. What do you want to emphasize? Do you want to point out that the demand is generally the highest in fields that are booming at the time?

1. Are these really categories of translations or are they elements of translations?
2. Does this really refer to the expertise covered in the document or does it simply refer to the field of the document?
3. Does this segment make clear what the demand refers to? Is it half of all demand or less than half of the English demand? This isn't clear.
4. The verb here should probably be "…you are thinking of earning…"
5. Are you talking about only one translation project or about translation work in general?
6. This doesn't sound very clear. You may want to say "…choose translations involving English."
7. This term is a bit too narrow in scope; it doesn't include memos, etc. It may be better to say "business correspondence” here.
8. This isn"t clear what "them" refers to. Are you referring to research papers or to all forms of documents?
9. What does "that" refer to? This isn't clear.
10. What do you mean by "wide-ranging"? Are you talking about translations or about demand?
11. I don't think you need to add the word "science" after this term.
12. Why did you choose "study" here?
13. Do mean to say that people are looking for translations of computer-related documents? Or do you mean that the demand is highest for such translations?
14. This phrase isn't necessary here. It's not really important whether someone said this.
15. This sounds like someone intentionally reduced the demand. It would sound better if you said "…the demand has fallen greatly."
16. What is the purpose of this phrase? Does this sentence actually provide a more detailed explanation of the previous sentence?
17. Why is this word in quotation marks?

1. What do you mean by "individually defined"?
2. Is English "most needed" or "most in demand" or are they the same idea?
3. Is this a commonly understood term? Does it carry the nuance of the spoken form of the language as opposed to the written form, which would be related to translation?
4. This segment sounds a bit awkward, or perhaps redundant to me. Since "occupation" means a way of making a living, doesn't this say the same thing? Perhaps you could mention "translation" specifically; in other words, "…will rely on translation as a way of earning a living.."
5. Is it merely "expedient" to do work involving English or is it "advisable" or "best" to do work involving English?
6. Is there a particular reason for focusing on the outsourcing of documents that need to be translated? Is it not possible for industrial translations to be done in-house or in a way that is not considered to be outsourcing?
7. I don't believe the "s" is necessary here.
8. I think the preposition "for" is a better choice here.
9. This sounds a bit vague. Are the translators accepting subcontracted work or are they subcontracting the work out to other people?
10. I feel more comfortable with the term "workload" or "demand" rather than "jobs" for this segment.
11. Is there a difference between "papers" and "documents"?
12. Are you referring to the actual financial industry here or are you referring to the business of translating financial documents?
13. I think the phrase "more in demand" works better here.

1. If you say "More details" you are implying that you provided some type of detail earlier; is this the case here?
2. You could simplify this part by saying “1) the source language.
3. I think it would all right to say "2) the kind of documents being translated" if you wish to be consistent with 1).
4. This is a bit vague. Do you mean to say that the various targeted fields will be described or do you mean that features 1), 2) and 3) will be described?
5. You need to be consistent in the terminology you use. Earlier, you use the word "features."
6. The singular form.
7. This sounds very negative. It sounds like you are talking about failed translators.
8. Using this term limits the direction of the translations to English into Japanese. It is probably better to simply say that a person should focus on doing translations that involve the English language.
9. It's not the document but the types of documents that should be mentioned here; so "virtually every type of document" would be better.
10. I don't think this is wrong, but I normally use the word "article" with newspapers or magazines, not "stories."
11. I think this should be "translation of manuals" because if you say "manual translation" it sounds like the opposite of machine-aided translation.
12. This is a bit off. The demand is not anticipated because it already exists.
13. This sounds a bit off, too. Maybe this should be "industries" or "fields."
14. Since this is supposed to be a general term, I would just use "steel."
15. What is "architectural engineering"?
16. This isn't really a job supplier. The biggest demand is in computer-related documents translation. The documents themselves do not provide jobs.
17. Since you use "is" as the verb earlier, this should be "accounts for…"
18. I believe this needs to be hyphenated.
19. This word does not have a very good nuance.
20. This type of phrase is probably not necessary in cases such as this.
21. Verb tense should be "has given way"
22. What exactly do you mean by this?
23. Does this convey the nuance you want?

○ 英語の翻訳
translation involving English が無難。

If you aspire to become a translator, you must decide where your strengths are and look at each of the abovementioned factors to determine what kind of translations you will do.

Rules for industrial translations

There are a number of rules that you must adhere to when doing industrial translations. These rules have been organized into the list shown below.

(1) Translate accurately
(2) Provide a finished product in the style demanded by the client
(3) Never miss a deadline
(4) Maintain the strictest confidence

1. I think this sentence should start with "Should" rather than "When." Should one wish…
2. The idea here is not really about territory but about the field. The word "territory" refers to an area of land, like Tokyo or the Kansai region.
3. This segment is a bit confusing. What does "aspect" refer to and how does it link with the rest of this sentence?
4. Always meet deadlines.

1. If you are mentioning rules for translation, you don't want to use a weak phrase such as "..as much as possible." In other words, you need to say that translations must be accurate.
2. I think the term "deadlines" is more clear.

1. The nuance sounds quite negative. You may want to choose a less derogatory term, such as "aspiring."
2. It might be more accurate to say "writing style" rather than "wording style"

Overall, this is quite well written. I would like to mention a couple of minor concerns I have. While the translation itself is very good in and of itself, if one looks at the volume of information contained in the original Japanese text and looks at the English version, one can see a couple of spots where the translated text has been truncated or shortened. Generally, the overall meaning is not compromised so it probably isn't a problem (especially since the end user or reader doesn’t have access to the original Japanese). However, in my experience with editors, agencies, and direct clients, there are times when I have to explain in detail why certain portions of the original Japanese text have been omitted or changed. If this is not a concern in the work you do, there is not a problem. But I have had a couple of experiences where I had to explain why I chose to alter the English vis-a-vis the Japanese.

1. What do you mean by this? "Up to" means "capable of" or "think you can do it."
2. Does the original text say that you should have skills in many fields?
3. You could probably just say "listed."
4. This is awkward. You should simplify this and just say "forbidden."
5. Do you mean to say that only nondisclosure agreements need to be observed?

up to
侮辱のニュアンスがある。

up to something : よからぬことをたくらむ。 We don't know what she was up to, but it was probably something bad.
up to it (a task) : たいしたことはできない。 If the boy is up to it, let's let him drive the car to the office.

○ 守備範囲
repertoire, specialties…

enumeration
各項目はshort and sweetが原則。
肯定と否定を混ぜると複雑になる。

禁止事項ばかりなら、The four don'ts for technical translators: と書いてDon't で始まる項を列記する手もある。

○ テキストについて
この日本語原稿は記述が雑だから、引きずられないよう注意が必要。 不明、不審な部分については「訳注」を用い、翻訳を免責とすることができる。

○ which
When used as a relative pronoun, the antecedent must be punctuated with a comma.
ネイティブでも間違える。場合によっては代わりに that を用いたほうが安全。

The one or ones previously mentioned or implied, specifically:
a. Used as a relative pronoun in a clause that provides additional information about the antecedent: my house, which is small and old.
b. Used as a relative pronoun preceded by that or a preposition in a clause that defines or restricts the antecedent: that which he needed; the subject on which she spoke.
c. Used instead of that as a relative pronoun in a clause that defines or restricts the antecedent: The movie which was shown later was better.
Microsoft/Shougakukan Bookshelf Version 2.0

○ would be (wanna be)
This phrase has a derogatory connotation.

目からウロコというかコンタクトレンズというか・・・(^ ^;)