Lower Back Exerciser

Referring to Figure 38, the lower back exerciser can similarly be used to exercise a user’s lower back when seated on the floor surface 24 in a cross-legged position. The length of the exerciser in this state is akin to the length of a walking aid, and can thus be employed by a user as such. An elderly or infirm person may thus use the exerciser when the person’s lower back becomes tired or begins to ache while walking. The user can then walk more comfortably after exercising his or her lower back.

1. such that → so that
2. a → the（floor 24は既述である）
3. with his legs crossed → cross-legged
4. walking stick → cane
5. as same as → similar to that of
6. walk using it as a stick → take it along on a walk
7. mentioned → described（述べる = describe、触れる = mention）
8. and → or（疲労と腰痛を独立させる）
9. feels → has a
10. comfortably を文末に移動し、more comfortably とする。
11. 訂正されていないが、stretch では「腰を伸ばす」ことにならない。

1. Lower Back Stretching Tool
2. a 挿入。
3. a → the
4. cane
5. take it along as a cane
6. control back pain caused by
7. more 挿入。

1. lower back
2. cane
3. nearly

1. waist を lower back に訂正。
2. 訂正されていないが、stretch では「腰を伸ばす」ことにならない。
3. while sitting に変更。
4. cane に変更。
5. lan elderly user に変更。
6. gets tired orを追加。
7. moreを追加。

1. Back 挿入。
2. holding onto
3. user's 挿入。
4. The apparatus length is
5. and 挿入。
6. caused → causes
7. could → may
8. the 削除。

○ また、

日本語原稿の「また、さらに」にいちいち further で対応したような英文は不自然。further は「また」の目的にそれほど慣用される単語ではない。

○ 腰痛

Dr. Bob Martinの面白いサイトによれば、発生しやすい体の痛みは、順に関節痛Joint pain、背痛 Backache、足痛 Sore feet、筋肉痛 Muscle pain、関節炎性疼痛 Arthritis、非関節炎性疼痛 Nonarthritic Pain、頭痛 Headache 、頸痛 Neck pain、胃痛 Stomach pain、そして歯痛 Toothache。

日本人に多い腰痛と肩凝りは、それぞれ Backache と Neck pain で表現されるらしい。三番目の Sore feet というのは、一日中靴を履いて生活する西洋人に特有の悩みだろうか。

腰伸ばし具

日本人は背筋を真っ直ぐにすることを「腰を伸ばす」、「背筋を伸ばす」と言うが、実際に腰の筋肉を伸ばしているのではない。lower back exerciser などが無難。

恵みの大地を見つめながら長時間にわたって前屈姿勢を強いられる農作業に従事していた農耕民族を祖先とする日本人にとって、「腰を伸ばす」といえば立ち上がり腰に手をあててそっくり返ることを思い浮かべる。しかし、このようなストレッチや伸展運動は滞りがちな血行を促すためであって腰の筋肉を伸ばすことにはつながらず、そのまた祖先が四足歩行していたときの脊椎のＳ字型生理的彎曲に逆らう体操。したがって、ここではそのまま stretchやextendを用いた逐語訳では注意が必要。

eBay に出品されている Lynx Back Stretcher のロゴで、ネコが気持ちよさそうに腰を伸ばしている。

○ ステッキ

アメリカ英語ではcane。stickというと登山用の感じがする（walking stick）。

○ 疲れて腰が痛くなった

どういう意味か？疲れなくても痛くなることがある。疲れても痛くならない場合もあるだろう。何が疲れるのか？人か？「腰が疲れる」と日本語で言うことはあるのか？

何気ない日本語だが、主語がないためか non-native にとっては意外に煩わしい。

○ 前述のように

as mentioned above や aforementioned は日本語臭く、生硬。as described above などが適切。

● それにしても、腰伸ばし具。「この程度のシロモノ」が立派な発明として天下に特許されるということは率直に言って新鮮な驚き。特許に親しみを覚える。

3. An ornamental article comprising:

• a greeting card, such as a Christmas card or a birthday card, having a crease portion when opened;
• a plurality of papers stacked in the crease portion, a photocatalyst formed on the plurality of papers;
• wherein front sides of each of the papers are exposed when the greeting card is opened, thus expanding the stacked papers and changing the external shape of the greeting card three-dimensionally.

1. and → or
2. affixed to a greeting card so that
3. カンマ挿入。
4. the greeting card is opened
5. 削除。
6. the → a

○ デザインアラウンド

光触媒を含有し消臭・抗菌効果を持つ装飾品と、飛び出す絵本のような仕掛けによるグリーティングカードは従来技術であり、これらを組み合わせたような本件発明が既存の特許権を侵害しないように適切な設計変更および請求範囲の減縮が行われる。これを、アメリカではdesign around（迂回設計）と呼んでいる。

このような配慮に基づいたクレームに記載のあるものはすべてが本件発明の要件であり、述べられている内容を翻訳者が加減する必要も権限もなく、安心してAn ornamental article comprising: … などと進めればよい。

○ 装飾品

ornament、decoration は装飾品、装飾物だが、ここでは ornamental article などが適切。 他に、trinkets (small ornaments)、knickknacks (miscellaneous curios) など。

○ クリスマスカード、誕生日カード等の「等」

「等」に and the like や etc. で対応すべきケースはまれであり、一般には包含と除外を明確にしなければならない。

Comprising は、それ以降に記されたものすべてに加え、さらに plus anything else の可能性を含意する。つまり、comprising 以降に挙げられているものに限定されない。よって、such as a Christmas card or a birthday card とすれば、あえて｢等｣に該当する語を加える必要はない。

さらにこの場合、a greeting card とあれば、such as a Christmas card or a birthday card は欧米人にとって当然のことなので、この部分は省略できるかもしれない。

○ 見開き

私は crease portion（折り目）で処理した。

往復はがきのように二つ折りにしたカードであれば、「見開き」は不適切な表現かもしれない。

○ 紙が複数枚

"Sheet" connotes a certain form or size, such as an A4 sheet.

○ 積層

Stack : 複数枚の紙が重なっている。
Laminate : それぞれが接合されている。

他に、placed, disposed (on top of each other)も可、placed や disposed は特許でよく使う表現。

○ それぞれの紙の表面

front sides of each of the papers としたが、at lease one surface of… という書き方は安全かもしれない。直訳するなら a surface of each of papers 。本来はクライアントに質問して、意味を確認しなければならない。

○ 前記

said でもよいが the でもよい。意味は同じ。

Q&A

● 積層
展開（unfold）すべき紙が畳まれた状態にあると考えて fold を用いたが。

原稿に「畳む」とは書いてないし、この部分だけでは実際にはどういう構成になっているかが分からないので、なんともいえない。

● 表現のバリエーション
たとえば、最初にlayers of paperと書き、その後簡略化を意図してpaper layersと書けばどうなるか。

一般に、同じものを指す場合は語順や言い回しを変えないほうががよい。言い回しが異なっていると審査官や裁判官が指示表現の同定に手間取ることになり、不利である。

● 従来技術
この原稿のように「従来」と「知られている」の位置が遠すぎることが多い。A, B, C… are known という形を用いると、A, B, C…と are known が離れすぎてしまう。そこで、Known… are A, B, C…と倒置する、あるいは説明する that 節を後に置き、Ornaments are known that… などと書けばどうか。

are known ばかりでなく、exist や are used などと工夫が必要。私の訳例では2センテンスに分けている。are known と書いた後、「従来」を現在完了で処理している。
「従来」とか「知られている」は日本語に特有の表現。本当は are known は使いたくない。

● 公開特許英文抄録
経産省所管の独立行政法人、工業所有権情報・研修館が運営する特許電子図書館の「PAJ検索（英語表示）」から公開特許の英文アブストラクトにアクセスできる。

1. Not bad. I would, however, let the readers know what UMD stands for - Universal Media Disc.
2. over PSP’s 1.58 million units sold
3. data → Data
4. I like this. Nice way to approach the simple, yet frustrating そんな中に.
5. Great away to approach 何者. I really want to talk about this in class. How do we know whether it was one gamer or many gamers? I would venture that it was multiple gamers, or hackers, that were creating these codes.

1. on を削除して、available for とする。
2. (Universal Media Disk) を挿入。
3. ほとんど使わない。敢えて言うなら mediocre。
4. has fallen とする。
5. totaling とする。
6. PSP’s とする。
7. an を挿入。
8. これでは「20年前に発売されてヒットした」という意味にならない。

1. of PSP を with the PSP に変更。
2. shortcomings を its lack に変更。
3. UMD が Universal Media Disc のことであることを説明したほうがよい。
4. writer を programmer に変更。
   とあるが、programmer ではないのでないか。訳者注
5. introduction を launch に変更。
6. been so far selling を to date sold に変更。
7. In such a situation を Faced with this situation に変更。
8. この位置だと、Nintendo をこの春から追撃しているように聞こえる。
   
そのとおりです。原文の読み違えです。訳者注
9. an を追加。
10. software を titles に変更。
11. ハッカーは１人ではないのではないか。

1. Outstanding word choice! I wish I had used it.
2. is → was
3. “Wizardry stuff” sounds awkward and vague. Some of the terms I brought up in class like “backdoor modifications”, “workarounds” or “coding hacks” would sound better in this context.
4. It’s a bit more graphic, but the expression “cut the legs out under” would be the better choice, and sound more natural than pulling the legs off Sony.
5. classic → classics

1. In contrast to
2. to connect to
3. Using the verb “attain” for a machine sounds unusual. The PSP can’t “attain” additional function. A much simpler way to express this is by saying the PSP comes “equipped” with additional functions or, “its extra functions serve as a music/video player.”
4. just lack something
5. available for
6. exclusive
7. as of the end of July 挿入。
8. 削除。
9. launch
10. take the lead in total sales
11. Ah-ha! You did use “hack” after all which is exactly the right terminology to use for this industry. Why, then, did you continue to use urawaza throughout the translation? If you didn’t have confidence that words like “hack” and “cheat” were correct, do a few quick Google searches like “hack + PSP” and see what comes up. You’ll know pretty quickly if the terminology is standard within the industry or not.
12. overtake 挿入。

Good work in this paragraph. Did you know that free software has a special term within the software industry? It’s called “freeware”.

○ イマイチ
It just doesn’t cut it.
The add-ons are a bit lacking.
It just doesn’t quite have it.
It’s a bit of disappointment.
Something’s missing.

○ 足を引っ張る
drag down Sony, slow down Sony, hinder Sony’s efforts, stop their momentum

pulling one’s legという表現はあるが、意味が異なる。

○ 不正プログラム
ここで「不正」には bootleg が使える。密造酒のことだが、その昔、長靴の胴中に隠して酒を密輸したことに由来する。

○ 何者か
unknown hackers（複数にするのが自然）
訳例にある computer game gurus や a computer geek もよい。

○ ネット上で無料配布
distributed for free on the Internet （for を抜かすのは自然でない）

○ ＰＳＰユーザ
PSP users や PSP owners でもよいが、PSP gamers が広く使われている。

"There's somewhere in the range of 3,000 NES titles that run on the PSP. These old-school games are a huge hit with the core demographic of PSP buyers, namely those in their 20s to early 30s. It's got to be making a dent in sales of PSP-licensed software." suggests the game programmer.

As homebrew coding continues to evolve, a wide selection of videogames can easily be played for free, including classics from Game Boy, Super Nintendo and Sega.

While it would seem that the hack craze would generate sales of the PSP, just the opposite has happened. "It hasn't contributed at all to sales of the newer models", explains a videogame store employee in Tokyo's Akihabara district. "In late March, Sony released a version 2.0 PSP that prohibits the play of emulators. When the first version was launched, it was blasted by garners and critics for its numerous flaws but once it was discovered that Nintendo games could run on it, we can't keep them on the shelves. Used models are priced for at least as much, if not more, than newer models." What an unexpected twist - only older models of the PSP are selling.

1. Well, yes, compared to today’s consoles the games are primitive. Yet, primitive is not the best word for レトロゲーム。The most commonly used terminology would be “old-school” games. I would venture that you could even call them “classics”. In this context, “primitive” has a bit of a negative nuance and these games are well-loved by those in the 20-30 age range.
2. would 挿入。
3. the 挿入。

Nice work here to wrap up the translation. We’ll talk in class about some other cool words you can use for “emulator”.

1. old school とする。
2. units と複数にする。
3. of を挿入。
4. can run games from the に変更。
5. booming の方が自然。

1. items を titles に変更。
2. targeted を the PSP’s core audience/market/demographic などに変更。
3. been more advanced such that を advanced to the point that に変更。
4. retro games でもよいが、old-school games, classics のほうがベター。
5. rush を rushed に変更。
6. needs はちょっとおかしい。demands くらいであろう。
7. 修正されなかったが、話に出たように licensed, exclusive, proprietary などの方がよい。

1. Perfect verb for this context. Very nice.
2. I appreciate the extra effort here. I tend to play it too safe with “約” because when you’re dealing with numbers accuracy is often crucial. But your approach works here. Even if they have 2,975 titles, which is less than 3,000, it’s perfectly fine to say “3,000”. When the situation calls for it, I’ll experiment a bit with “約” and find more creative ways to approach it. Thanks!
3. players → gamers (alt.)
4. old-school games
5. the 削除。
6. A little wordy here. (it’s just the opposite)
7. How about, “They’re flying off the shelves.” or “We can’t even keep them in stock.” Or, if you want to get very colloquial, may I introduce to you “They’re selling like hotcakes.”?
8. better → higher

1. PSP-licensed games
2. of → from
3. gamers in their 20s to 30s
4. the emulator has further developed
5. retro game titles from Game Boy, Super Nintendo, and Sega
   “Retro games” works fine in this context but there are some other cool expressions you can use as well, such as “old-school” games and “classics”.
6. would stimulate
7. On the contrary
8. Sony upgraded the PSP
9. Look out for repetition in this sentence. If you see yourself using the word “initial” twice in the same sentence then go back and find some other alternatives you can use for smoother sounding sentence.
10. exceeds
11. a price premium on even the secondhand

○ レトロゲーム
retro games で何も悪くはないが、他にもよい言い方がある。
例えば、classics、old-school games。

この old-school について日本語の辞書には適切な訳がないが、古きよき時代を思い起こさせてくれるものに相応しい表現。

○ 純正ソフト
exclusive, proprietary, licensed, genuine, Sony-brand software などが使える。
その反対としてhomebrew coding はゲームの世界でよく使われている。

○ 3,000 本
3,000 kinds of video games でＯＫだが、3,000 titles がよい。

○ 開発
これをただ development としてはつまらない。かといって、malicious development とすると少し強すぎる。私は evolve を使った。

裏ワザの開発
code hacking こまる（メーカー）
emulation development ありがたい（せこいゲーマー）
evolve = undergo development なるほど（傍観者）

● WIRED という月刊誌がある。この雑誌では最新技術の用語など有用な英語表現が見つかる。http://www.wired.com/wired/

● このテキストに引用されているコメントが「アキバ系」のカジュアルな表現になっているかどうかをチェックする。自分で書いた文章が英語らしいかどうかを確認するために音読が有効。

■ Filtration system
Raw water is supplied through the raw water pump to the membrane module. The circulating pump generates a circulation flow, thereby ensuring a sufficient flow over the surface of the membrane. This reduces the amount of sludge and other suspended substances that accumulate on the surface of the membrane, extending the period between physical washings, and enabling the system to handle highly turbid raw water without any difficulty.

1. The filtration process is being mentioned for the first time here, so it would probably not be a good idea to use the definite article. The definite article points out that this topic has appeared or been mentioned before.
2. I think the preposition "for" works better here.

1. I think the singular form of this word is generally used in cases like this (suspended matter).
2. The preposition isn’t needed here.
3. This should be "highly turbid."

1. I think this segment would be easier to understand if you put a comma between these words.
2. This segment is a bit hard to understand. I think the word "that" creates a clause that is an incomplete thought. Perhaps this could be simplified to say something like "…by preventing suspended substances from accumulating on the membrane surface…"

1. As we discussed in class, the interpretation of this passage is backwards. The issue is not the length of the cleaning period becoming longer, but rather, the interval between cleanings can become longer.

■ Cleaning system
Physical cleaning
Physical cleaning Filtration is done by pumping raw water supplied by the raw water pump through the hollow fiber. The raw water is forced from the inside of the hollow fiber through the walls to the outside. As the filter gradually becomes clogged from continuous use, physical cleaning is carried out at regular intervals. This cleaning is conducted by water from the backwash pump being passed from the outside of the membrane to the inside of the membrane, washing away the grit and other impurities adhering to the membrane. The cleaning substantially restores the membrane to its initial condition. However, as there may be substances clogging the membrane that backwashing is unable to remove, causing the obstruction to progressively worsen, regular cleaning of the membrane with chemicals should be carried out.

Chemical cleaning
If the membrane is in use over an extended period of time, substances that cannot be removed by backwashing will gradually accumulate and lead to clogging, and an increase in the transmembrane pressure difference. Regular chemical cleaning must be performed to clear away whatever obstructing substances backwashing has been unable to remove.

1. Two things about this segment. First, I think the word "permeate" is too passive. I think the basic idea here is to describe that water is forced through or pumped through the membrane; not merely permeate. Second, since the word "permeate" means to pass through, the word "through" is redundant.
2. I think what is described here is wrong. You are saying that the clogs are washed (or cleaned). Why would the clogs be washed with chemicals? Is there some reason to have clean clogs? I think what you need to express is that the clogs are removed through washing or that clogs are washed away; not that the clogs are washed.

1. I think the word "supplying" is too weak; it doesn't express any action. The basic idea here is that raw water is pumped or forced through the fibers by the raw water pump.
2. It is not really clear what the word “which” is connected to. Do you mean to say that the membrane needs to be removed? Doesn’t the text say that the substances that clog the membrane need to be removed?
3. This should be "…performed at certain intervals."
4. The construction of this segment is a bit awkward. The use of "is" doesn't feel right. I think it would be sufficient to say "The physical cleaning is done by introducing water from …"
5. It's not exactly clear what "loadings" refers to. Does it refer to substances that clog the membrane? Or accumulated impurities?

1. I think the correct preposition here is "at" regular intervals.
2. Is it clear what "Its" refers to? To me, it is unclear whether you are referring to physical washing, membranes, or clogging.
3. This needs to be changed a little. Right now, it may give the reader a mistaken idea of the degree of restoration the membrane undergoes. The membrane is restored to almost its initial level of performance. If you say that the membrane is almost restored, it means that it does not work at all - that restoration failed.
4. Check a grammar book on the usage of which and that.

1. I think this would sound better if you used "…as it becomes plugged after a long…"
2. This sounds a bit weak. I think the Japanese text says that the function is restored to almost the original or initial level of performance.
3. This is probably all right, but to me, it wasn't quite clear what "advanced stage" refers to.
4. I think this would be clearer if you put the definite article in front of "entrapped."
5. This segment doesn't flow quite as smoothly as it should. Perhaps it could be modified to something like "…across the membrane to a point where backward flushing is insufficient to clean the membrane."

1. This sounds a bit odd. I think it would read more smoothly if you said something like "…causes the fibers to gradually become clogged.." or "…causes the fibers to gradually clog…"
2. Do you think that "flows" expresses enough action? It seems a little passive to me. I think that since you already used "pump" as the verb, the word "flow" is not necessary. Also, if you use "flow" here, the water just moves around the filter and is not really forced through it. So the image is rather weak.
3. Is it possible to operate a membrane? Perhaps a different verb would be better here. I think you could simply say "use."

○ 一定周期、定期的
cleaning at regular intervals ---- たとえば「毎月」
periodic ： blood tests ---- たとえば「年に５回」（多少あいまい）

○ 水を供給して
pumping water through …
water is forced from … through …

ポンプが用いられるため、supply、flow、permeate などでは不十分（too weak、passive）。

○ 行います
is done, is carried out, is conducted

■ The shape of the membrane and the membrane module

Water purification by means of a membrane is one type of solid-liquid separation technology, in which impurities in the water are removed by using pressure to pass the water through the microporous membrane. This process is capable of removing suspended sludge and bacteria, while ultra filtration membranes are able to remove viruses. Membranes manufactured by Maezawa are made of cellulose acetate with hollow fiber ultra filtration membranes with a molecular weight cut-off of 150,000. To facilitate the process of passing water through the membranes under pressure, the membranes are packed into a cylindrical housing to increase the packing density, providing a module membrane with a very large surface area.

1. This phrase is a bit of a problem because it sounds as though ultrafiltration membranes are used for removing suspended matter, bacteria, and viruses. The original text is emphasizing the role of the ultrafiltration membrane is filtering out only viruses.
2. I think the logic here may be wrong. Does the original text say that Maezawa uses ultrafiltration membranes or does it say that membranes made by Maezawa are made of acetate cellulose with molecular weight of 150,000?
3. I'm not quite sure what you mean by more intensive filtration. Perhaps this could be expressed in another way?

1. I don't quite agree with the idea that pressure is applied on the membrane. I think pressure is applied to the water to force it through the microporous membrane.
2. Care should be taken when using the "not only…but also…" form. In this case, you are implying that suspended matter, bacteria, and viruses are all removed by using an ultrafiltration membrane. But actually, the ultrafiltration membrane is used to remove viruses, not suspended matter or bacteria.

1. As we discussed in class, the position of the term "ultrafiltration membrane" is very important. This sentence implies that this ultrafiltration membrane is used to filter out substances, bacteria, and viruses, but this is not true. It is used to filter out only viruses.

1. Does this term sufficiently convey the size of the pores of the membrane? I think it is important to mention that the membrane has microscopic pores. I'm not so sure that the term "semi-permeable" conveys the same type of information.
2. Although I know this is the unit of measure for molecular weight, is this generally-used term? Is it more common to leave this term out or is it usually included in a description?
3. What exactly do you mean here by "good permeate water"? Does "good" refer to quality? Is this clear from the context of the sentence?

1. This structure implies that the ultrafilter membrane is used to filter out suspended substances, bacteria, and viruses. Is this true? Or is the ultrafilter membrane used only for the removal of viruses?
2. This segment is a bit awkward. It may be easier to understand if you simply this part of the sentence. You could say something like "…the membranes are packed into a cylindrical container in order to increase…"

○ 不純物
impurities ： 果たして不潔、不純といい切れるか？
substances ： これが中立で望ましいと思う。
obstructing substances, suspended substances, substances clogging…

おまけ

● 汚れ
stain ： シミ （特に繊維の中に入り込む、染まる）
smear ： 表面に擦り付けたような汚れ
grime ： ワイシャツの襟首の汚れなど （ring around the collar = collar soil）

ring around the collar は家事を放置している主婦を象徴することがある。

● dust と dirt
dust ： dry particles (wet dust = grime)
dirt ： 土（泥）

● information を可算で用いる場合
a piece (pieces) of info と学校で教わっていた。

「情報全体の一部」として a piece (pieces) of info は正しい。
「一片の情報」は an item (items) of info。

● piece
a piece of cake (very easy like eating one piece of cake) という表現は、日本語の「お茶の子さいさい」と同様に古い。

「頓知」という言葉をご存知の英語ネイティブがおられるが、これを知らない日本人もおり、やはり古い。今の日本語では「ウイット」とか言う。

● semicolon
日本語では「中黒」というものがあって便利に使われているが、翻訳は難しい。

例：「当店では書籍、CD、DVD、プラモデルの設計・製作・販売、人形、骨董を扱っています」
We handle: books; CDs; DVDs; design, production and sales of plastic models; dolls; and antiques.

またhoweverやthereforeは、本来 ; however,や ; therefore, の形で使う。

セミコロンは使い方が難しい。これを「スーパーカンマ」ということがある。

THE PRINCIPLE: The semicolon is perhaps one of the most abused symbols in the English language. Yet its general, two-fold purpose is simple and direct:

• Use the semicolon to separate two independent clauses (i.e., complete sentences) when there is no coordinate conjunction (and, or, but, for, yet, so) between them.
• Use the semicolon to separate items in a series in which commas are also present. In this usage, some have dubbed it the "super comma."

余談

● 過酷な西部、Sacramento, California
カリフォルニアの州都サクラメントは湿度が１桁％、気温は 118F (48℃) にもなる。

To mass produce croissants, one may divide up bulk fat-laden pastry dough into individual pieces, and place the pieces onto a baking plate having a flat or slightly recessed surface, or onto a conveyor belt. The pastry dough pieces are allowed to rise, and then baked.

Croissants often take the shape of a crescent moon, with a rich, buttery aroma due to the fat in the pastry. Multiple fine surface layers provide croissants with a flaky, crispy texture when bitten into, while the raised pastry dough inside remains soft and moist.

1. 削除。
2. pastry 挿入。
3. cut pieces on an oven sheet that is flat or slightly recessed, or on a conveyer,
4. pieces
5. with its
6. a 挿入。
7. inside attributable to yeast

1. with cut-in fat.
2. The dough is
3. flat
4. crescent shape
5. from the fat rolled into
6. that is flaky and crispy, while the inside is soft and moist due to yeast

1. dough, into which fat is added, into several pieces, shaping the pieces, and then placing the shaped pieces on a flat or recessed baking sheet, or on a conveyor for proofing and baking
2. with a rich fragrance
3. into
4. while the inside is
5. due to yeast

1. cut-in fat に変更。
2. baking plate に変更。
3. or a conveyer belt にして、位置を indentations の後に変更。
4. that に変更。
5. in shape を削除。
6. ithat を追加。
7. indentations に訂正。
8. the を削除。
9. in に変更。
10. at the same time を削除。
11. inside is tender and moist に変更。
12. fermentation を削除。

1. buttered dough → pastry dough
2. Whereas the → The
3. the yeast-leavened crumb → while the yeast-leavened inside

1. Background of the Invention → Prior Art
2. rolling → cutting/rolled → cut
3. them → the shaped dough
4. a plate being flat or having slight dimple portions → a flat or slightly dimpled plate
5. the final proof → proofing
6. baking them → then baking
7. of → from
8. wherein the surface crust being laminated → with a layered surface crust
9. that を入れる。
10. has a を入れる。
11. inner crumb → inside
12. fermented を取る。

○ 以下、Gregoryさんがご自分の訳例に基づいて解説してくださいました。

(1) To (2) mass produce (3) croissants, (4) one (5) may (6) divide up bulk (7) fat-laden pastry dough into individual pieces, and place the pieces onto a baking plate having (8) a flat or slightly recessed surface, or onto a conveyor belt. The pastry dough pieces are allowed to (9) rise, and then (10) baked.

Croissants often (11) take the shape of a crescent moon, with a rich, buttery (12) aroma due to the fat in the pastry. Multiple fine surface layers provide croissants with a flaky, crispy texture when bitten into, while the raised pastry dough inside remains soft and moist.

(1) To mass produce croissants,

後にいくつかのステップが続くので、To mass produce… と最初に書いてA, B, C, と続けたが、これがベストの書き方というわけではない。

(2) 「製造する」

produceやmanufactureでもよいが、「クロワッサンを（焼くのではなく）製造する」、「コンベアーに載置して」などとあることから工場などで作るものを指すと考え、私はあえてmass produceとした。
なお、manufactureは食品よりどちらかというと機械などの製造に向いているかも。

(3) 「クロワッサンは、」

特定のクロワッサンではなく「一般的なクロワッサン」のことを言っているので複数形にしたが、A croissantとしても構わない。
また、次の「クロワッサンは、…形状」を複数で書くと書きにくいので、途中で単数形に変えても、この場合は問題ない。

(4) one

oneは「一般的な人」。
一般英語では you attitude で書いたりするが、特許では you は使わない。
ここではoneを使ってみたが、oneも実際にはあまり使わない。
代わりに、… may be divided… という形にすることもできる。

(5) may

divide 以外にもチョイスはある。いろんな方法のうちの1つ、という意図で may を入れた。

(6) 「分割して成形した」

大きな生地の塊からクロワッサン1個分ずつ個別の生地にする、ということだと考え、 divide up bulk fat-laden pastry dough into individual pieces とした（分割 = divide、成形 = into (individual) pieces）。
なお、piece はいろんなシチュエーションで使えて非常に便利な単語。

(6) 「分割して成形した」

大きな生地の塊からクロワッサン1個分ずつ個別の生地にする、ということだと考え、 divide up bulk fat-laden pastry dough into individual pieces とした（分割 = divide、成形 = into (individual) pieces）。
なお、piece はいろんなシチュエーションで使えて非常に便利な単語。

他に訳例として出ていて赤入れ（ネイティブチェック）後ＯＫだったもの:
dividing dough into pieces, shaping each piece, cutting and shaping…

(7) 「油脂折り込み生地」

fat-ladenは「油脂がいっぱい入っている」というニュアンス。
後に「油脂の豊かな香り」とあるのでバターを使いたいところだが、バターとは限らない（おそらく大量生産するのにバターは使っていない気がする）ので油脂 = fatを使うのが無難。
ペストリーを作るときなどcut intoをよくつかうので、cutting fat into doughでもよい。

他に訳例として出ていて赤入れ（ネイティブチェック）後ＯＫだったもの:
dividing dough into pieces, shaping each piece, cutting and shaping…

他に訳例として出ていて赤入れ後ＯＫだったもの:
fat is kneaded, fat-folded, cut-in fat

★ -laden, -folded, cut-inなどとして、one wordにすると文章がすっきりする。
★ oilは液状のものなので、この場合は使えない。
★ butteredは、「バターをつけた」という意味で、buttered toastなどと使う。

(8) 「平板状や若干窪み部がある天板（展板）かコンベアーに載置」

「平板状や若干窪み部がある」は、「天板（展板）」だけに係るのか「コンベアー」にも係るのかは不明。私は天板のみに係ると解釈した。
「若干窪み部がある」の窪みがどのようなものかも不明。
① 家庭用の天板のようにほぼ全面が少しへこんでいるもの（窪みは1個）、
② クロワッサン1個につき1窪とし、複数の窪みがあるもの、
③ 焼いた後クロワッサンを取りやすいように全面に窪みがつけてあるもの、など。

私はこれらの可能性をカバーできるように、a flat or slightly recessed surfaceと書いた。逆に、having slight dimpled portions (indentations) などと窪みを複数形で書くと、①のようなものは指さないことになる。
bumpy surface では統一感がないし、wavy surface でもないし、テキストに明記がない以上は具体的に書かない。

＜余談＞

★ tread: タイヤの溝、靴の裏の溝
tread には「歩く」という意味がある。靴もタイヤも歩いた（走った）後が残るから tread。
★ groove:
通常、広い面の一部だけが溝になっているものを groove という。なので、焼肉などの鉄板で油が落ちるようにでこぼこになっているようなものは groove とはいえない。

(9) 「ホイロをとり」

パンの形を作った後、発酵させること。専門用語。
私は rise を使った。
Proof は パンの発酵を指す専門用語なので、これも使える。
ferment はアルコールを作ったりするときの発酵に限ってつかう、気がする。

他の訳例：yeast-leavened

(10) 「焼成する」

つまり焼くこと。
bakeする前に発酵させて、bakeまでにやや時間があるので、thenを入れた。
「・・・して、・・・して、・・・する」というときに、…ing, …ing, and then …ingというのはよく使う表現。thenの代わりにnextを使うこともある。

bake : 焼く（オーブンでパン、窯でレンガ）
burn : 燃焼する、焼ける
        Ex., Oil burns off leaving a residue film.
calcine : 焼成、煆焼、焙焼する
        in chemistry; heat a substance so that it oxidizes re reduces
incinerate : 火葬、焼却する
sinter : 焼結する
used of powdery metals or ores; to cause to become a coherent mass by heating without melting

(11) 「三日月型の外観形状であり」

have (take) the shape of a ...、-shaped、shaped like a ... など。
★「上から見たとき」などという場合には、frame of reference* （何を基準として「上」だというのか明記すること） が必要。

frame of reference (reference frame)

【1】関係づけの枠,準拠枠;視点,視座:概念,価値,習慣,物の見方などの構造;それによって物事を理解,評価したり行動を規制したりする.
【2】物理｢基準系（reference frame）:空間に時間を含めた四元の座標系の中で,ある物理現象の観察や数学的記述に用いられる座標系.(ランダムハウス英語辞典)

＜形関連で余談＞

いわゆるＵ字型のことを言う場合に、a cup shape、bowl shapeを使うことがある。

(12) 「香り」

smell だけだと、悪い臭い。
smells nice、smells good などとするか、aroma のほうがよい。

(13) 「内部クラム」

カタカナ語は日本語です。
crumb は、一般にはパンやケーキのカケラ、クズをいう。日本のパン屋さんの業界用語でクラムはパンの中身となっているようだが、ここでは the inside でよい。

You are getting crumbs all over the place (the chair).「ボロボロこぼさないように」

第4回 「外来語」言い換え提案（中間発表）

★ 日本語特許明細の英訳について
米国の特許審査官も人間だから、当然読みやすく分かりやすい文章で述べられた明細書を歓迎する。日本語の発想で書かれた原稿をそのまま英訳すると、読みにくい文章になってしまいやすい。やたらに長い主語を読まされ、結局YESなのかNOなのかと審査官が焦燥感を覚えたりするような英文は不利。翻訳の段階で対象言語による発想に切り替えて、審査を後回しにされたりすることのないよう、発明者のために努力する。適宜に倒置文を使うとか、コロンを活用して整理するのも一策。

The Personal Information Protection Law has been the topic of articles and discussion in every form of media on almost a daily basis. There is not only tremendous concern among those who come into direct contact with the personal information covered by this new Law, such as this company and its official dealers, but also heightened concern among the customers, whose personal information is the subject of this Law, as well as all employees with regard to the protection of privacy and fears of information being leaked.

This Law has been set up to provide protection on two fronts. To ensure the safe and secure management of personal information (information security) as well as the protection of the privacy of personal information, this Law places restrictions on such activities as the collection of personal information, its usage, and the providing of this information to third parties. To put it another way, this Law is similar to traffic rules, where responsibility is placed on each of the concerned parties to endeavor to prevent accidents from occurring.

1. This is the wrong form of this phrase. It should be either “people have concerns about…” or “people are concerned about..”
2. Are you saying that people = entities? This sounds a bit strange to me.
3. I can’t see how this connects with the rest of the sentence. I think you need to put a comma in here to separate some of the clauses.
4. What do you mean by a “bifunctional legal system”? I don’t think I have ever seen this phrase.
5. Are you implying that PIPA also helps avoid traffic accidents?

1. It’s a bit hard to tell how much is covered by the word “both.” Does it include only Qi Zhong and its authorized dealers, or does it refer to Qi Zhong and its authorized dealers AND general consumers? It’s a bit difficult to see what the groupings are.
2. Does this really refer to end users or does it actually refer to employees?
3. Is “private data” the term that is generally used to express this material?
4. I kind of wonder about this. Does the company pledge to protect privacy and the Law makes sure the company lives up to its promise, or is it the Law that mandates that companies must observe protection of personal information?

1. Do you mean to limit this to only the printed media? What about other types of mass media, such as TV or radio or the Internet?
2. Are you saying that the main business of Qi Zhong is handling information? This is what this sentence is saying
3. This sentence implies that third parties are the only parties that will be allowed to obtain and use information. Is this true??
4. What do you mean by “double-sided legal system”? Are you implying that there is a second or secret usage for the law?

1. Do you mean to say that only newspapers and magazines are part of mass media? It may be better to say that there are articles and discussions in every form of mass media; you want to avoid limiting the meaning of mass media
2. The choice of words sounds odd here. Is “high” normally used to describe “attentions”? I think we generally say something like “a great deal of attention.” Also, does the verb “raised” include to “attention” or is it connected to “concerned”?
3. What do you mean by “own their private information”? The link between a customer or an employee and “owning their information” is a bit difficult to follow.
4. Two things about this phrase are not clear: “double-sided” is usually used to describe something bad; rather than “law system” I think “legal system” is better.
5. Are you implying that there is only one traffic law? You are also implying that PIPA is somehow connected with traffic law. Is this true?

1. Does the law protect personal privacy or personal information?
2. Is this word strong enough? Is there only awareness or is there worry or concern, too?
3. I think you will find that this word is used with eyeglasses. I don’t think I’ve seen it used in any other connection.

○ 個人情報保護法

日本政府の定訳はないが、Personal Information Protection Act を用いている民間企業がある。しかし、特にPIPAというアクロニムを用いると読者はそれが公式名称だと受け取るかもしれない。そこで、hereinafter referred to as… とことわる。

⇒ 各国での呼称

Google hits
Privacy Protection Act : 658,000
Personal Information Protection Act : 32,000
Privacy Protection Law : 8,800
Personal Information Protection Law : 700

●「国内法の英訳統一・政府、来年度から」

⇒ NIKKEI NET
⇒ 対訳辞書プロジェクト

○ 記事

テキストは「各種マスメディア」であり、活字メディアに限定せず articles and discussion とした。なお、news storiesには「三面記事」のイメージがある。

○ プライバシー保護

privacy protection には特殊な意味もあるから、気をつけたほうがよい。protection of privacy ならよい。厳密にいえば security protection も論理的におかしい。personal information protection なら問題ない。また、たとえば child protection も私のルールにない。

○ 二面性

意味を考えると個人情報の保全（secure management）と保護（protection）、つまり漏洩防止。一般に「二面性」はtwo fronts（aspects）などがわかりやすく、double-sidedはネガティブな表現になる。

○ obligation と responsibility

「努力を課す」の部分にはobligation（be obliged to）よりresponsibilityがよい。

You are obliged to tip in the States, while in England you tip only if you feel it’s deserved.
アメリカでもチップを払わないからといって処罰されることはない。

For the Qi Zhong Group, customers who purchase DigiView DVR are as valuable an asset as the Qi Zhong brand. As such, a system worthy of this premium brand image that is capable of securely managing the personal information and protecting the privacy of the customers must be provided. Since last year, in accordance with a policy that encompasses the entire Qi Zhong Group, including all dealers, a project has been carried out to respond to the requirements of this Law.

Information security forms the foundation of this project. The protection of information is positioned as a key factor that allows us to continue with our work and will contribute to the success of DigiView. Information security is the responsibility of each individual Qi Zhong Group employee; therefore, it is the mission of each employee to make every possible effort to secure absolute information security.

1. There are two points of concern here: since you need to set up an “as…as” structure, the verb “are” should be replaced with “as”; the word “particular” should be in the adverb form.
2. This is not clear what deserves labels, protection or information or security?
3. I think “survivable” is too weak of a word. The protection of personal information is the key element that will allow Qi Zhong to continue with its work and lead to the overall success of the Group. Just “surviving” isn’t good enough.
4. This phrase sounds a bit awkward. What does “important accountability” mean? I think you could just say that information security is an important responsibility (or obligation) of each employee.

1. I wonder if this word is a bit too weak. To say that something will eventually happen sounds like “at some time in the future.” Qi Zhong is stating with confidence that the protection of personal information will contribute to the success of the company, so the concept of "そのうち" that is expressed by the word “eventually” feels a bit wishy-washy.
2. I have a question about the use of the word “devote” together with “constant efforts.” I think we “make constant efforts” or “devote time and energy” to realize something. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen the phrase “devote constant efforts.”

1. Basically, whenever you want to refer to a company group, you need to use the definite article in front of the name, such as the Toyota Group or the Hitachi Group.
2. I’m not quite sure what this sentence is trying to say. What are we trying to address and how is this the same as what the whole group including dealers is trying to address?
3. What does “it” refer to.
4. Be careful of subject/verb agreement. If you use “We” here, the verb needs to be the plural form “define” not “defines.”

1. Generally, we don’t use “consider” together with “that.” This would be better if you said, “The Qi Zhong Group considers the DigiView DVR brand and is customers to be…”
2. I think this is the wrong choice of words. This should probably be “promoted.”
3. Whenever you refer to a company in terms of a Group, you should use “the” in front of the name. Not just for Qi Zhong, but any company. For example, when you write about the Toyota Group or the Exxon Group, you need to use the definite article.

1. This sentence makes DigiView sound like a company. Companies can have customer; products do not have customers.
2. I think this should be “security” and not “safety.” They are not the same thing.
3. Is privacy protection really “a task”? The logic here sounds a bit strange. Either the word “task” needs to be changed or the subject “privacy protection” needs to be reconsidered.

○ DigiView DVR のお客様

customers of DigiView DVR で意味はわかるが、そもそも商品が顧客を持つことはないので好ましくない。たとえば、BMW customers、customers of BMW などという表現はロジカルでない。

○ プレミアム

valuable asset という意味を伝え、このカタカナを直接使わない。

premium (adj.): having or reflecting superior quality or value; “premium gasoline at a premium price”

○ its （代名詞所有格）

this company and its official dealersやour company and its authorized dealers は問題ないが、センテンスやパラグラフが改まってから information security is its base とするとitsが何を指しているのか不明確となるので避け、the base of …　とする。

In light of these circumstances, an e-learning program for information security / protection of personal information was developed as a part of the company’s Personal Information Protection Law Project. This e-learning program was designed to familiarize employees at every level of the company regarding information security. The average employee may question the need for taking this program, as he or she may have no involvement with personal information. However, there is the possibility that employees may indirectly come into contact with personal information in the process of performing their duties. Moreover, because all in-house information is treated confidentially, it makes little sense to try to differentiate personal information from company-related information.

1. This is a simple error. Since you are saying “one of…,” this needs to be in the plural form: “one of the projects.”
2. This isn’t clear what information you are referring to. Do the employees have indirect access to information about the training or the personal information about the customers? This isn’t clear.

1. What is the focus here; customer protection or information security?
2. This segment is a bit unclear. What does “it” refer to? The accessibility of information? The information itself? And the use of “happen to be” here is a bit unclear. I had a bit of difficulty following the flow of thought of this sentence.
3. Are you implying that there are some company trade secrets that don’t have to be kept confidential? The use of the word “that” in this sentence gives this impression.

1. This sounds a bit odd to me. Does Qi Zhong want to teach a method to publicize information security? I don’t really thing Qi Zhong wants to teach any methods. Qi Zhong wants its employees to be more aware or more knowledgeable about information security.

1. This word is usually used in the singular form; like the words “equipment” and “information,” this word is not usually used in the plural form.
2. This is a bit too strong of a phrase. The idea here is not that e-learning means nothing, but that e-learning may not apply to them.

The program is offered in Japanese, and all employees and temporary staff members who have sufficient proficiency in the language are required to complete the course. A version of the course for non-Japanese employees can be accessed at “Information Protection Video” on the AG Intranet. As this Law is scheduled to become effective on April 5, all employees are requested to complete this e-learning program within the limited time available. Furthermore, attendance shall be recorded and a test given. The beginner’s course of the program, which is, in principle, mandatory for all employees, can be completed in about an hour and a half. Employees may take the course in several segments during short breaks in the work routine, thereby avoiding major negative impact on normal duties.

1. This should be “all employees” because “the entire employee” means one employee has been divided into many smaller pieces.

1. The position of “which” could be confusing. It’s not clear whether “which” refers to Japanese or to the course. The meaning of this sentence would be helped if the “which….” clause were moved closer to the subject it describes.

1. Check a reference book on what kind of words should have a hyphen.

1. It might be a good idea to mention that employees who are fluent in Japanese should take this program; not just “people who speak Japanese.” What you have written could be taken to mean that a person who speaks only limited Japanese should also participate in the Japanese version of the program.
2. “Idle” is probably not a good choice of words here. Idle is usually used when you want to express a negative meaning

1. This sounds a bit odd. “Across-the-board” means that it concerns a broad range of people or groups, for example, an across-the-board pay raise means that all the employees are given a pay raise. But a law concerns everyone, not just a range of certain people.
2. This implies that employees only have to complete a part of the course, and not the entire course. The idea here is that employees can study the course by dividing the course into shorter segments and take the course a little at a time.

○ 短期集中

intense を用いた場合、「短期間」に加えて「一生懸命」という意味が出てくる。

○ 受講管理とテスト

約1時間半のコースだから、管理の対象は progress より attendance のほうではないか。

● 三交替勤務

自動車や鉄鋼産業の工場などで、午前零時から８時までの勤務は一般には賃金が３割り増しとなり、これを graveyard shift というが、医者が夜中に墓から遺体を掘り出して研究に用いたことがその由来らしい。

● 就業時間の合間

就業時間中にbreakはあっても idle time や spare time はない。しかし、いずれにせよこのように具体的な指図はいかにも日本人らしい。

law school を出たばかりの青年を law firm が雇うにあたり一週間につき 60 時間以上の労働を求める。１日に12時間（土曜も出れば10時間）以上働かされることになるが、間近に控えている bar exam に備えた試験勉強は ”on your own time” にしたらよいと言うに止める。
（The Rainmaker, John Grisham）

● staff

この名詞を可算で用いたければa staff member、staff members が便利。

1. 削除。
2. tools → equipment
3. or → and
4. have recently become widespread
5. andを入れる。
6. be easily→ therefore easily be
7. JP 2002-74476 A discloses an attempt（必ず後述されているべき公報番号を用いる）
8. vending machine losses
9. and（両方とも change の対象となる）
10. when
11. a counterfeit coin or the like is inserted

1. JP2004-145688 A
2. has allowed the
3. cheat → defraud
4. JP 2002-74476 A, controlling means capable of changing the precision levels of coin identification and coin acceptance, has been developed and installed on vending machines in an attempt to reduce vending machine losses when a counterfeit coin is inserted

1. 不要につき削除。
2. produce 挿入。
3. may 挿入。
4. !!
   特許明細にこのような副詞があればダブルで感嘆される！？
5. to a swindler
   特許明細という法律文らしく無機的に書けば for は to で、通貨偽造および同行使の犯人が同一人物でないという想定のもとに the swindler が a swindler となるか？
6. JP 2002-74476 A discloses a controlling means for varying
7. verification → identification
8. that 挿入。

1. advent を availability に変更。
2. various を削除。
3. has allowed counterfeit currency to easily be made に変更。
4. fraudulently purchasing merchandise or receiving change に変更。cheat そのものは使用可能であるが、cheat merchandise は誤り。cheat vending machines ならよい。
5. JP 2002-74476 A に訂正。英訳の場合には、該当文書そのものを記載する。
6. an attempt has been made に変更。
7. money は currency に変更。
8. control は controlling に変更。
9. reception は acceptance に変更。

1. or → and
2. popular → widespread
3. unfortunate ability for easily producing → an easy opportunity to produce
4. bills → currency
5. stealing → fraudulently purchasing
6. receiving を挿入
7. 番号を明記
8. 下線部を losses for individual vending machines when counterfeit bills are used
9. control means → controlling means
10. 下線部を、currency identification and acceptance levels

○「ところで」という接続詞を訳出する必要があるか？

日本語の文章には「ところで、さて、また」といった語句がたくさん出てくるが、ほとんどが省略できる。内容によっては必要なものもあるが、この場合は省略可能。というより、省略したほうがよい。incidentallyやby the wayなども不要だし、またこれらは話し言葉という感じが強いので文書の中では使わない。

特許に限らず、英語と日本語では根本的に書き方が違うので、そのまま訳せないことが多い。１つの例として、日本語では「なお、‥‥」という語句がよく出てくるが、英語には対応語はない。しかし、内容からいうと、たぶん It should be noted that… という意味だと思う。

これは英日の時に使えますね。It should be noted that…を「・・・に注目すべきであろう」と訳すよりは「なお、・・・である」の方がずっと日本語らしいですよね。

特許明細は番号付きの段落に分けて書かれているから、それぞれの段落は一応の独立性を保つべきであり、そのためできれば「ところで」などを削除または省略すべきなのだろう。しかし、それ以前の問題として前段の【０００６】を読めば、この転換接続詞が不必要だと判断できる。

○「カラー印刷やカラーコピー」の「や」は or か and か？

印刷機もコピー機も同じように普及しているので、ここでは and が自然。日本語の「や」はいつも and でもなければ、いつもorでもない。その都度内容を考えて訳す必要がある。

本来は並列語を作る「や」という格助詞は、日本語で文章を書くときにきわめて重宝である。すなわち、明確に「及び」あるいは｢及びその他｣とする確信がない場合に便利でよく使われる。ところが、翻訳する段階では必ずこれをはっきりさせなければならない。

○「特許文献２」

引用文献はきちんと番号を入れることが推奨されている。この場合も、調べて文中に入れる。ここで、JP 2002-74476 A の A は「公開公報」のこと。

○「偽貨など」の「など」はどうするか？

この場合は、or the like として入れた。ただし、日本語は「など」が多すぎる。そのまま訳すと全部に付けなければならないこともある。本音をいうと、本当の意味がない「など」は無視したいが、翻訳なのでそうもいかない。しかし、etc. はトンデモナイ。

○「レベル」はそのまま英語として使えるか？

カタカナ語は日本語であり、そのまま英語として使えるかどうかを必ず考えなければならない。この場合、levelは使いたくない。サンプル訳ではsensitivitiesとした。ただし、あまり特定の意味を持つような言葉、たとえばspeedやtimeは使わない。というのも、文中で定義していないものを使うと混乱を招く。

○「手段」は means でよいか？

means を避けて device や unit を使うべきだという説があるが、法律上の根拠はない。ここでは means が望ましい。なお、a means の形はあまり一般的でない。

また、たとえば connecting means が「ネジ」である場合もあり、意味不明で審査官に無効とされないよう明確に定義した上で使う。

○「貨幣識別レベルあるいは貨幣受入れレベル」の「あるいは」はorでよいか？

ここもでも、意味を考えるとandがよい。

○ 精度の高いカラー印刷

「高精度」に precision、definition、accurate などが使われているなかで、sophisticated が光っている。

○ 偽貨などによる不正入出力

「不正入出力」は不適切な用語であり、翻訳者をミスリードするかもしれない。

○ 自動販売機単体の被害

「被害」に即 damage と反応するのは少々オソマツ。意味を考えれば当然 loss。

○ 偽貨

これを「硬貨」と読んで coin とすれば大変な誤訳。硬貨は印字やコピーできるものではない。

1. An object of the present invention is to
2. that identifies
3. カンマ挿入。

1. An object of the invention is to
2. the 挿入。
3. a method of inhibiting the use of
4. without reducing the availability of a vending machine

1. An object of this invention is to
2. identifier → identifying device
   出願は装置と方法だから、ここはdeviceやapparatusでなければならない。
3. reliably rejecting counterfeit currency
4. currency
5. 不要につき削除。

1. availability に変更。

1. 削除
2. カンマで区切って文末に移動。
3. the を挿入。

○「稼働率」は何の稼働率か？

ここでは自動販売機の稼働率、もしくは識別装置そのものの稼働率であることを推定できるが、それではavailability of the vending machineとはっきり書いてよいのか、という問題がある。翻訳なので、書いていないことは書かない。Don't go too far.

直訳すると rate of operation などと書き、「言語明瞭、意味不明」となる。availability は入手可能もしくは利用可能であること。さらに有用性という意味もあり、米国では選挙立候補者の当選可能性、すなわち当選してお役に立てること。この単語を使った人は水上塾の優等生。

○「偽札投入を的確に抑制できる」はどこまでかかるか？

この発明は「装置」と「方法」の両方を提供するものであるが、この部分は「装置」にかかると判断した。

○ 発明の「目的」はなぜan object なのか？

特許ではこの形が用いられる。theを使うと目的が限定されてしまうことになる。

クレームが10もあり、最初がan object、次がanother object、その次がfurther object、更にその次がstill further object、またyetやadditionallyを使ってと書かれているものもあるが、これらすべてan objectで問題ない。

また、It is an object of the invention toという書き方もよくみかけるが、この形は使わない。

初めから英語で明細書を書く場合、そもそもこのような発想がないのでIt is an object of the inventionもAn object of the inventionもないが、日本語からの翻訳なのでサンプル訳のように書くことになる。

あるいは、aimを使ってThe present invention aims toとしてもよい。

○ 直訳か意訳か

別の言語から英語に移すので、まったく同じに訳すことはできない。しかし、できるだけ近い形であり、かつ英語としてきちんとしていることが望ましい。また、契約書などと違い用語は自由だが、最終ユーザーが誰であるかを考えて訳してもらいたい。

● 迷信二題

クレーム中でand/orは使わない  ⇒  ウソ
comprising…という形は用いない  ⇒  ウソ

●「・・・を特徴とする」

wherein a flexible polymer is bonded to…  ⇒  米国スタイル
characterizing a flexible polymer being bonded to  ⇒  欧州スタイル

● 類似特許

"Point-of-sale bill authentication" (United States Patent 6,883,706)
USPTO PANTENT FULL-TEXT AND IMAGE DATABASE

参考サイト:
⇒ 特許電子図書館
⇒ USPTO（米国特許庁）
⇒ EPO（欧州特許庁関係）
⇒ PCT（特許協力条約）