You could say that the space x-ray satellite known as "Suzaku" (Japanese for a mystical Chinese bird similar to the phoenix) is a device that catches x-rays from outer space. Hot gases, as high as 10 million to 100 million degrees, emit x-rays giving us a peek into secrets of the universe, including black holes and space's mysterious x-factor, the substance known as "dark matter".

Last year, America and Europe's space agencies respectively launched "Chandra" and "Newton", two x-ray observation satellites that detected a colossal black hole that had swallowed a star roughly the same size as the sun. When matter is sucked into a black hole x-rays are emitted, and these signals from beyond were captured by the satellites.

1. X-ray → An x-ray
2. at → ranging from
3. Great! I’m very glad you added Celsius as almost everyone, including myself, just wrote degrees without specifying if it should be Celsius or Fahrenheit.
4. in → of
5. Almost everyone in the class struggled a great deal with 「宇宙の黒幕」 Many people used terminology for 「黒幕」that would be great if we were talking about a Mafia crime boss (like “fixer” or “string puller”, etc.) but we can’t give human characteristics to something so vast as dark matter. In your case, the wording sounds too 直訳. I tried “mysterious x-factor” and I think you want to use something along those lines.
6. each of 削除。
7. カンマ挿入。
8. “Swallowed” is the perfect word in this context but no need to put it in quotes. The verb “swallow” is often used in context with black holes so it’s normal to write it as is.
9. infalling → falling
   The better word for 「落ち込む」 would be that matter is “sucked in” or “drawn in” to a black hole. We’re in outer space with no gravity, so matter isn’t truly “falling” in a physical sense.

1. to 削除。
2. matters → matter
3. Very strong opening paragraph except for the last sentence. First, I’m glad you indicated the temperature as “Centigrade”. Almost everyone in the class, including myself, just wrote “degrees” without indicating Celsius or Fahrenheit. I also love that you chose “delve”; it’s the perfect verb in this context. Everyone had problems with 「宇宙の黒幕」. The problem is it sounds awkward to put human actions and qualities upon something as vast and infinite as dark matter.
4. “Swallowed” was perfect for 「飲み込む」but for 「落とし込む」the best verb, with black holes being the context, would be “sucked in” or “drawn in”

1. 文章自体に間違いはないが、「～スタート！」と筆者が「！」を使って出したかった urgency が訳出されていない。
2. through を削除。
3. which black holes and dark matter may be unveiled を、which may unveil black holes and dark matter に変更。
4. underlying substances に変更。
5. when matter is sucked into (drawn into) a black hole に変更（原文に忠実に）。

1. As we discussed in class, the saying “beat around the bush” is very common but I have never heard “beat up the bushes”. I do love, however, your use of “Space Sentry”. Sounds very cool.
2. X-rays are
3. I think this was your stab at 「宇宙の黒幕」. In this case, your use of “background” confuses the meaning of the sentence. What is used as “the background”? X-rays? Space? I like “celestial secrets” very much. Perhaps I misunderstood and this was your 訳 for 「宇宙の黒幕」.Either way, we still need to do something with that vague “background”.
4. See this link for the definition of “gobbled”:
   Now, “gobble” can mean to swallow greedily but I look to the animal kingdom to draw comparisons here. A python or boa constrictor will “swallow” its prey whole. It may take some time to get there, but the process is slow, thorough and complete. That’s how I see a black hole “swallowing” a star. On the other hand, I picture a hyena gobbling up meat from a fresh kill. This hyena is competing with other hyenas, a few brazen vultures and extremely dangerous lions so he or she doesn’t even have time to savor the meal. The hyena has to tear off those chunks of meat and gobble them up quickly before the competition leaves him with an empty stomach.

Japan is a pioneer in the field of X-ray astronomy. After a successful launch last month, trial observations are set to begin with "Suzaku" in mid-August. "Its analytical capability blows away both Chandra and Newton in terms of studying the wavelengths and spectrum of X-ray outbursts from the cosmos", proudly boasts Professor Hajime Inoue from the Institute of Space and Aeronautical Science (ISAS), a division of the Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency (JAXA).

As an approaching police car or ambulance zooms by, one hears the siren's pitch get higher. This is known as the Doppler effect. In fact, a shift in the sound wavelength causes this phenomenon. Suzaku uses the same principle to determine the speed of superheated gases emitted by celestial bodies by capturing both short and long wavelength modifications. If Suzaku can live up to its potential, it may just help to solve a piece of the puzzle to what is said to be one of modern science's most profound issues, "dark matter".

1. Although no one in class did it, it would be great for the native English speaker if you told them what “Suzaku” means in Japanese.
   訳者注： 「すざく」は特に意味のない固有名詞だと思っていました‥‥。
2. Effect → effect
3. → a siren’s pitch sounds higher as it approaches
   Although it’s not in the Japanese, I would add a vehicle that has a siren, like an ambulance or a police car, because otherwise the meaning becomes a little muddy. The siren isn’t really approaching but the vehicle is.
4. the を取る。
5. wavelength → the wavelengths
6. Very good work here. I think you handled this paragraph without any difficulty.

1. the 挿入。
2. Although it’s not in the Japanese it would be helpful to the native English speaker if a very brief explanation was given as to what “Suzaku” means in Japanese.
3. X-rays wavelengths
4. Since the Japanese uses 「凌駕する」we need something stronger, something more boastful than just simply “more precisely”.
5. Effect → effect
6. a 挿入。
7. matters → matter
8. are → is

1. Japan specializes (excels) in X-ray astronomy. に変更。
2. 原文にはないが、朱雀の意味がわかならい読者のために、簡単な説明をつけるとよいであろう。
3. sound source like an ambulance or police car と、例を付けるとよりよいであろう。
4. Suzaku’s ability に変更。
5. subjects に訂正。

1. has been a pioneer
2. Prof. Inoue is either a very modest guy or he doesn’t have confidence in his country’s own satellite. The Japanese uses 凌駕する so we need some more serious trash talking here. Simply by saying “might” you’ve taken a lot of bravado out of the professor’s words, which is not the intended effect here.
3. Good word choice here.
4. I’m glad you included a vehicle here like an ambulance or police car because it sounds awkward to say, “a siren is approaching”.
5. Effect → effect
6. A well put together paragraph!

Professor Inoue elaborates on outer space's unseen master. "From gravity and other astronomical measurements, it is believed that 90% of the universe is made up of dark matter, an imperceptible substance in which neither light nor electromagnetic waves can escape. Although dark matter's nature is exceedingly difficult to comprehend, by examining the surrounding hot gases we- can learn how dark matter moves and where it's concentrated distributions are located."

Since the dawn of humanity, mankind has gazed upon the stars, all of his observations and studies limited to the naked eye. Today, our window to the heavens is beginning to expand as vast as the universe itself.

1. the を取る。
2. See Note (5). In fact, almost everyone in the class chose to ignore 「影の主役」. Granted, this was a very difficult term to translate in regards to the context but I’m glad you gave it an attempt because most members of the class chose not to.
3. its sprawling region→where it’s distributed
4. human → humans/humankind
5. Not bad at all. I would eliminate the repetition of the word “clues”. Also, although it’s only word I really think we need a “now” or “currently” or “today” to connect the flow of this sentence from the dawn of civilization to the wonders of the space age.

1. dark matter is
2. matters → matter
3. See note #1. A string puller or manipulator or fixer would be great if we’re talking about some underworld crime boss or some shady political powerbroker, but this is a very human action that we can’t attach to infinite, barely understood dark matter. Likewise, we use the verb “flock” for humans or certain animals, in particular birds, but we don’t want to attribute this action to dark matter.
4. are → is
5. where it is most heavily distributed
6. Since you’ve already used “bodies” twice earlier in the translation, I would use another word here. There are lots of great words to choose from: the cosmos, the heavens, the galaxy, etc.

1. 「影の主役」を人にたとえなかったのはよいが、言葉の選択が今一歩。
2. many more waysは、sounds too dull and plainで あり、ここではクロージングにふさわしい something a little bit more poetic or stylish な表現が必要。

1. As I mentioned in class, the underlined part is redundant and wordy. Delete it and your sentence sounds smoother and has that poetic touch that I believe the last sentence was asking for.

Man first went into space on April 12, 1961, when Yuri Gagarin climbed aboard a spacecraft named Vostock 1 and was launched into space. Gagarin’s space flight lasted one hour and forty-eight minutes and made a single orbit around the Earth. After completing his flight, Gagarin returned to Earth, parachuting safely onto a farm in the south part of Russia. This flight gave birth to his famous words, “The Earth is blue.”

1. I think you can say “your life yet to come” but I don’t think you can say “your lifetime yet to come.” A lifetime represents the entire timeline of your existence, so it can’t be something in the future.
2. As we discussed in class, the wording of this segment is a bit tricky. It must be written so it doesn’t sound as though you are saying that while Gagarin was the first human to be sent into space in Vostok I, there were others who were sent into space in other spacecraft with different names.
3. I like the use of “reportedly” because, as I’m sure you discovered when researching this article, Gagarin did not actually say the famous comment “The Earth is blue” that is attributed to him.

1. While I can understand what you want to say, the phrase “live with something” is used differently. Usually, it is used to mean「覚悟の上で」.
2. As we discussed in class, there are fixed ways in which we write dates. If you want to use the “12th” sytle of notation, you should write “On the 12th of April 1961, a Soviet ….”
3. We discussed this sentence in class, too. If you read this sentence again, you will see that it sounds like you are implying that other animals have travelled in the Vostok 1 and Gagarin was the first human to travel in the Vostok.
4. Wrong preposition. You can’t really ride on a parachute. You can return to earth by parachute.

1. I think it is necessary to mention that the author is talking about the future of each person in the audience, so perhaps something like “I mean the future you will be living in.”
2. Check on the rules of writing dates. I don’t think you can use the “12th” style of writing dates when you use the month, date, and year.
3. As we discussed in class, the word order of this segment is important. If you don’t write this sentence carefully, the sentence may sound like you are saying other people in addition to Gagarin flew into space on other spacecraft.

I’m sure all of you have seen photographs of a blue Earth, floating against the backdrop of jet-black space. It is a truly beautiful sight. It is a miracle of beauty. This small planet, glittering like a blue jewel, is the Earth. It is the third planet from the Sun in our solar system and it is your home. It is where all of you were born and where you live your lives. So, your future is very closely tied to what happens to this planet in the future. Let’s think of the Earth as if it were the house in which you live. Perhaps one day in the future, it may become possible for you to move away. But, even it were possible for you to leave this planet, wouldn’t it be horrible if the reason you had to move was because you had made the Earth so dirty that it was unlivable, and you had to sneak away to find another home to live in? To make sure this doesn’t happen, all of you have a very important job to do; get to know as much as you can about this home we call Earth, give a lot of thought to how you live in it, and take good care of it.

1. The use of “star” to describe the Earth always bothers me. Although the Japanese lump planets and stars into the same category, English separates them. The Earth, Mars, Jupiter, etc., are all planets, while Antares, Sirius, etc., are stars.
2. I’m not particularly fond of using slangy versions of words in writing articles. I suppose this type of expression is appropriate when writing dialogs, but I generally try to stay away from using it.
3. This feels a little out of place here. There is a need to link this sentence with the sentence preceding it and the one following it. Because the idea is to think of the Earth as our house, this sentence needs to function as a transition element to bridge the previous ideas (of how beautiful and precious the Earth is) with the concept of equating the Earth with a house we live in.
4. I don’t know if it’s a good idea to mention the need to be rich enough to move. People move for a variety of reasons; not just because they are rich. The question here, if you wish to add this thought of being rich, is what kind of contribution does this thought make to the main idea of this paragraph.
5. I wonder if it would be possible to make this sentence a little less clumsy. I had to read it several times before I could see where to break up the sentence. The portion between the “you want” and “would be” was especially hard to follow. The idea expressed here is fine, and once I discovered how it should be broken up, I was able to read it smoothly. However, when reading it out loud, it took three breaths to read all of it.

1. Two points here: first, although the Earth is called a “star” in Japanese, it is categorized and always referred to as a planet in English; second, this sentence does not really make clear what the miracle is. Is the miracle the fact that the star is beautiful? Or that the Earth is floating in space? This probably should be made more clear.
2. The planet cannot evolve; living things (such as plants and animals) can evolve. Planets can change but they cannot evolve.
3. This is a bit off. The text is not merely saying this is a good idea. It is asking us to think of the Earth as if it were a house.
4. The direction of this sentence feels a bit different from the nuance of the Japanese. You may want to look at some of the other assignments to see how this sentence has been interpreted.

1. Does this sentence make clear what “which” refers to? The way the sentence reads now, it sounds like “which” could refer to either “space” or “the Earth.”
2. The transition in this part of the sentence doesn’t feel smooth. Perhaps it should be something like “You were born on this planet and it is where you live.”
3. This sounds a bit off because we don’t suppose (or imagine) that Earth is our home because it is our home. The idea in this part of the sentence is to metaphorically describe Earth as being like the house we live in.

“Mother Earth” globes have been created by the artist Arlo Manchester to give us many different views of the Earth. The globes, illuminated with many light bulbs, represent various conditions and situations on this planet. Art can be described as a way of seeing things. An artist can take things that you look at but normally don’t pay attention to in your daily lives or things that you’ve forgotten about, and show you how to see them in a fresh, new way. Arlo Manchester is showing you many different ways of seeing the Earth. He is showing you how to view the Earth from this way, that way, and every which way. While one view of Earth may give you a sense of hope, a different view may fill you with sadness. But you must not forget that each and every one of these views represents a current reality of the Earth. Joy, sadness, hope, and despair, all exist together under the same roof

1. It’s a bit confusing as to whether the word “which” is describing the globes or Arlo Manchester.
2. Is there a particular reason why this segment is in the future tense? The rest of the paragraph speaks in the present tense.
3. I think the use of “never mind” in this way is not correct. Perhaps “don’t pay attention to” or something similar conveys the thought better.
4. Is the use of “all” really necessary here?

1. You can say “do you know about something” but you cannot say “do you know + an object.” In this case, it is better to say “Have you ever heard of…” Usually, we use “do you know + person.”
2. As a general rule, once you have introduced a person by the full name, unless the person is a friend of yours (you personally know the person) and the article is a casual narrative, you should refer to the person by the last name.

1. Unfortunately, this is kind of a direct translation of the Japanese. If possible, try to find a different way of expressing this phrase or leave it out completely (it isn’t really a very important phrase).
2. Are you saying that we left behind the view? This segment doesn’t make clear what we left behind.
3. As a rule, in cases like this, where you don’t want to use the full name again, use the last name ? not the first name.
4. Ideally, this sentence would be perfect if these adjectives could be put in the same logical order: joy and sadness (not grief ? this is usually used to express sadness when someone dies), hope and despair.

Bunshi Fugetsu, an associate professor at Hokkaido University, has developed a new material using carbon nanotubes that effectively eliminates dioxins and other toxic substances. Processed carbon nanotubes represent the latest advance in the field known as nanotechnology. Compared to activated carbon of the same weight, carbon nanotubes absorb up to 80 times more dioxins by weight.

Fugetsu is looking to form research partnerships with other companies, with the intent of commercializing the technology for use in purifying emissions from incinerators and other cleaning processes.